You Know You're Obssessed With
- You whittle wooden stakes.
- You kick doors open.
- You carry around a stake, just in case.
- You take long walks in the cemetery at night.
- You have a strange fear of hospitals.
- You don't complain about going to church anymore because you
remember that your supply of Holy Water is running kind of low.
- You wear crosses every day and have a vast selection of them.
- You never verbally invite anyone into your home.
- You keep all your important information on yellow disks.
- You avoid fraternity parties.
- As a rule you don't like to be surprised.
- Your friends are fearful that if they call during "Buffy
Hour" they'll be in for a long lecture the next day.
- You bookmark the Coroner's Office as a favorite place.
- When you hear that there's a new librarian at your school, you
slam open the doors of the library and yell; "Okay. What's
- You can recite a whole Buffy episode(s).
- You wallpaper your room with pictures of the Buffy cast and
complain when there isn't enough space to put them all up.
- You ask a priest to bless your bottle of Perrier.
- Just for the hell of it, you enter Moloch into several search
- You name your doll Miss Edith.
- You let your bird die of starvation.
- You paint your nails like Drusilla.
- When your brother comes back from the zoo, you won't let him in
- The only way you know how to say the word bitch is 'bitca'.
- You get your hair cut like Buffy's and your hairdresser keeps
remarking that the picture you show her (for your haircut) looks
- You find yourself writing "You Know You've Seen Too Much
- Whenever you quote Buffy Verse, you laugh hysterically while
your friends stare at you like you've grown another ear.
- You always protest that Buffy is NOT a ditz's name.
- When watching a new Buffy episode, people gawk at you when you
manage to say the actor's lines right before they do.
- You can't think of a thing to talk about with people who have
never watched a Buffy episode.
- You spend hours on the net looking for new Buffy pictures.
- You get really really excited whenever you do find any new
- You sit on a grave twirling a yo-yo and say: "Come on,
rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting at
- You look for padlocked sewer access systems in mausoleums.
- You decide to be Buffy for Halloween but your friends don't
notice a change.
- You own everything possible with the words Buffy the Vampire
Slayer on them.
- You get wigged out by mimes and dummies.
- You have a chest in your room with a fake bottom that contains
garlic, stakes, holy water and crosses.
- You wig out whenever you have a substitute biology teacher.
- You never go out with your boyfriend on the night of the full
- You avoid supposedly empty warehouses.
- You have a fear of railroad spikes.
- You punish your dolls.
- You get a wheelchair just so that you can be called
- You never have sex with your boyfriend for fear of what might
happen to him.
- You take up tae kwon do, kick boxing, street fighting and
gymnastics and have a natural flair for all of them.
- You eye your librarian to see if they're trying to tell you
that you're the next Slayer.
- You sleep with a stake under your pillow.
- You sneak out of your bedroom window at night and hang out at
the park because you've heard that several people have died there
lately of exsanguination.
- You're horrified of people who have never even heard of Buffy
the Vampire Slayer.
- You want to kill those that dis the show.
- You dream of past Slayers.
- Whenever you have a dream and you see your friend in it you run
up to them the next day and begin to choke them as you
ask:"What do you know?".
- You never sign in someone's yearbook "Have a great
- You don't like to use the word Master.
- You write Buffy FanFic.
- You date men whom you meet in dark alleys.
- You bring a fire extinguisher to cheerleading tryouts.
- You get nominated at school as "Person Most Likely To Be
The Next Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
- You buy knee-high boots.
- You get two holes pierced in your left ear and three in your
right, just to be like SMG.
- You're on a first name basis with all the actores of BtVS
except that you've never met them. -Though they used to
appreciate your interest, the actors on BtVs are now scared to
death of you.
-You check people's lockers to make sure they don't have any
books such as 'Gray's Anatomy' and 'Mortician Desk Reference.
-You read a Buffy transcript at least once a day.
- You befriend a computer genius and her friend.
- You file complaints that the substitute biology teacher is
- When asked what your hobbies are you answer;
"Slay...slay...slave to the television".
- As far as you are concerned, Buffy and friends are actual
- You drive to California to look for Sunnydale, you dial
operator and ask him where it is, operator says there is no such
place and you yell back at him that he's probably in league with
some demons to keep you out of Sunnydale.
- You enroll at Torrance High School.
- All the actors on the show are shown a picture of you and are
told to stay away at all costs.
- When asked what you'll do when you're older you answer either
dead or it's already been 'sealed in fate'.
- You tape all Buffy episodes.
- You buy all the CDs of songs that have ever been on Buffy.
- You've been to all 1000 or so Buffy sites on the net.
- You legally change your name to Buffy Summers or another
character from the show.
- You practically have a nervous breakdown when rerun season in
- You cannot remember what you did with your life before Buffy.
- Your motto is 'Life is short' or 'Seize the day'.
- You never bring your date to the morgue.
- You never buy your Halloween costume at a new costume shop
- You always beat up a snitch.
- You nail crucifixes to your wall.
- You make sure your parents never come to Parent-Teacher night
- You watch, laugh and mock talent shows.
- When given an egg for parenting in Sex Ed. class you smash it
with something heavy.
- You're frightened of cheerleader wannabes.
- You avoid saunas, who knows what they put in the steam?
- You don't let people with long fingernails get too close to
- You use a Thesulan Orb as a paperweight.
- Whenever there's a Sadie Hawkins dance at school you lock
yourself in your room.
- You refuse to buy any candy being sold by the band at school.
- You're sure that the government is up to
- You're afraid that the first Slayer will show up in your dreams
and try to kill you.
- You hate the idea of going to college and getting a roommate
you don't know; she might be a demon!
- You stop drinking beer because you're afraid that you'll turn
into a caveman.
- Whenever you get a cramp/"pang" you think that angel
may be lurking around.
- You attack anyone named Ethan.
- You pursue witchcraft.
- You cast spells that have been on BtVS.
- You spend countless dollars on BtVS merchandise.
- Everything pre-Buffy is now knowsn as BB; Before Buffy.
- You buy BtVS VHS videos even though you already taped the
episodes off TV.
- You try to enroll at UC Sunnydale and are chocked to find that
it doesn't exist.
- You start dancing like Faith.
- You have a dislike for the military and aren't surprised when
they screw stuff up.
- You buy realistic-looking false fangs and pop them in at night.
- You refuse to schedule anything on a Tuesday night.
- Life without BtVS appears to be meaningless.
- You request the song 'Wild Horses' by The Sundays at your Prom.
- You arm yourself with weapons on Graduation Day; you can never
be too sure the Mayor won't turn into a demon.
- You're afarid that the Chumash Indians will destroy your
- You always get an uneasy feeling on Halloween.
- You think that anyone that listens to Cher or Celine Dion is a
- You start a dance club and call it The Bronze.
- You help new students (especially if they come from LA) with
their books on the first day of school. (Ana)
- Just in case you lose your voice you sleep with a message board
under your pillow. (Ana)
- You spy on your teachers to find out whether they lead a double
- Every time you see a soldier you have the tendency to hide in a
- You notice that the number of friends you have drastically
decreases around your birthday. (Jody)
- You start thinking that you're dating an ex-wish demon who
occasionally wants to eviscerate you. (Jody)
- You discuss the events of the show with your friends as if they
happened in reallife. (Ann)
- Whenever someone annoys you, you say, "What's your
- After high school you are seriously thinking about living in
your basement, with your neato disco ball. (Ann)
- You can't help but think that all the rodents your come in
contact with are really Amy in disguise. (Ann)
- You plan a trip to London, to find out where the Watcher's
Council is located. (Ann)
- After your junior year you leave for the summer, determined to
live on the streets. Afterall, if Buffy did why can't you? (Ann)
- You name your group of friends the Scooby Gang and assign
characters to them from Scooby Doo based on their personalities. (Ann)
- On a quiz on European countries you ace all the questions
pertaining toe England and Ireland. (Ann)
- You declare your school motto is "something weird is going
- You firmly believe that one day you will meet all the cast. (Ann)
- You think that Joss Whedon took more than the character Xander
form his past, and he in fact, knows the real Slayer. (Ann)
- You schedule your life around Buffy. (Ann)
- You're scared of finding dead bodies in dumpsters. (Ann)
- You make scrapbooks devoted to the actors on Buffy. (Ann)
- Your favorite day is Tuesday. (Ann)
- You think your life is too normal, wishing for the life of the
- On Valentine's Day you stay at home with your mother, pigging
out and renting a bunch of chick flicks. (Ann)
- You have written to all the stars and are expecting a reponse
any day now. (Ann)
- You're afraid a guy with cheese will haunt you in your dreams. (Mark)
- You audition for the part of cowboy guy in Death of a
- Whenever someone walks into the room you say, "Check out
the lust bunny." (Mark)
- You refuse to smoke in the school basement alone. (Matt)
- You go to the prom with a duffel of "just-in-case"
supplies and your black leathert jacket. (Matt)
- It's never a problem chaning for patrolling - you've aptrolled
many a time in halters. (Matt)
- You buy a yellow mug that says "Kiss the Librarian"
and use it only for Cherry Kool-Aid. (Matt)
- You fear dreams of small baseball players. (Matt)
- You fear the lunch
lady's food. (Irene)
- You position all
the posters in your room so that the lovers are facing each
- You start writing "Don't walk away from me bitch!" on
the chalkboards at school. (Jody)
- You go shopping for furniture and ask to see "the sofa
from hell". (Jody)
- You stop believing in leprechauns and coincidences. (Jody)
- Anyone that has the name Rupert or Giles is immediately assumed
by you to be your Watcher. (Irene)
- You have a soft spot for British people, though not if they've
got platinum blond hair.
- You always come back from summer vacation with a new hairdo (a
- You fall in love with a college guy and stick by them when you
find out they have a secret life. (ozdude)
- You find out that BtVS: Season 1 will be released on DVD and
rush out to buy a DVD player. (SydKid)
- You walk down the street at night and see a dark figure wearing
a long black coat, you scream "Angel!" (Carey)
- You set off for college/high school every day wishing you could
have your librarian waiting for you with news on the hellmouth. (Carey)
- You wonder why guys you know don't look as good at 244 years
old as Angel does. (Carey)
- You collect the VHS box sets even thoughy ou already have the
episode on tape. (Carey)
- You buy a black and white kitty and name her Ms. Kitty
Fantastico and called her Ms. Kitty for short. (Faith)
- When you perform a part in your school play, you run off the
stage, a la Willow. (Jade)
- You sing the song Cordelia sang for your talent show. (Jade)
- You buy two copies of every buffy video released and keep one
in mint condition. (Jade)
- You cut class, and leave through the window. (Jade)
- You are wary of anyone named Sunday. (Jade)
- You write Buffy Summers -- Class Protector on your umbrella. (Jade)
- Whenever you see a rat, you immediately try to turn it back
into Amy. (Jade)
- You keep your mom away from your graduation and start a
petition to keep the mayor away as well. (Jade)
- You carry a knife like Faith's. (Jade)
- You get your school band to perform the Buffy theme song. (Jade)
- You purposefully get Buffy's exact SAT score. (Jade)
- You think Sunnyvale, CA is really Sunnydale bu they changed the
name to keep obsessed fans out. (Jade)
- Whenever someone leaves the house, you say to them, "Be
back before dawn." (Jade)