Date written: Sun 15 Aug 2004

Author: Starway Man

E-mail: theop@kew.hotkey.net.au

Disclaimer: The Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are copyright Joss Whedon, UPN, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, Sandollar and probably a whole lot of other people as well. The lyrics from “American Woman” belong to Lenny Kravitz, Maverick and WEA. No profit will be made from this story, unless you count me getting happy from receiving some feedback here.

Continuity: This fanfic initially takes place at the end of BTVS season 7, and then in an AU season 3 and season 5 / Angel season 2.

Category: Action, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angel/Buffy crossover

Main characters: Ensemble

Warnings: Some overt violence, character death, language and sexual references are present.

Symbols: “ ” denotes speech, < > specifies thoughts, and [ ] indicates mental telepathy.

Rating: Overall R to be safe, with mostly PG-13 parts.

Acknowledgments: Thanks to www.buffyworld.com for the transcripts, without which some of this story couldn’t have been written. Thanks also to the unusual suspects Nodakskip, Greywizard, MPrattky and Nick Midian for comments and suggestions.

Summary: What if the creation of the Slayer army was exactly what the First Evil had wanted, all along? Two people return from the future to fix things. Their chosen agent? Xander Harris, of course.

Title: Bloody Brilliant Plan

~~~~~~

“Buffy, what you said, it-it flies in the face of everything we’ve ever – every generation has ever done, in the fight against evil. I think it’s bloody brilliant.”

(Rupert Giles, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER)

“I don’t know. It’s weird. Part of me always knew life would end after high school.”

(The Harmony Kendall vampire, ANGEL)

“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men, gang aft aley (go oft astray).”

(Robert Burns, 1785)

~~~~~~

Outside the remains of Sunnydale, California. May, 2003

It was a sunny day, as a motley group of people stood near a yellow school bus – chatting amongst themselves, and staring at the canyon that was formerly la Boca del Infierno, or the Hellmouth.

And just as their blonde leader, the vampire Slayer known as Buffy Summers smiled as she contemplated what the group was going to do next...she and all the others seemed to instantly freeze in place.

Behind them a portal closed, as two individuals stared at the so-called Scooby gang.

One of them was a blue-skinned mage, who was dressed in Bedouin-like robes. His face was masked, but his eyes appeared yellow and serpentine, and he was obviously not human. The other appeared human and female, mostly – but her hair, eyes, and the edges of her face were of a royal blue colour, so she wasn’t exactly the poster girl for California normality either.

The shaman studied the Scoobies, then turned to face his companion – who had slowed time to almost a standstill for everyone else, with her demonic power. “You have risked a great deal in calling upon me, Old One. Now, why have you brought me here?”

The ancient demon known as Illyria, who was inhabiting the human body of the deceased physicist Winifred Burkle gestured, “Because this is where it all began, you fool. Look at them at all, congratulating themselves upon their so-called victory. Not one among them even begins to suspect, that they have played directly into the hands of the First Evil!”

The mage stepped closer to the frozen humans. “You seem very resentful of these people...”

“For good reason!” Illyria snarled. “What they just did, changed this entire planet...for the worse. Activating every possible vampire Slayer in this world...I should pull their eyes out just enough, to turn them towards their mewling, mutilated faces! Did they never wonder what the long-term consequences of their actions would be?”

The shaman seemed to enjoy playing Devil’s advocate. “They couldn’t have known beforehand that no more girls would be born as potential Slayers, during the next generation...”

“Couldn’t they?” Illyria pointed towards the still form of Buffy. “This one at least should have investigated the possibility, if she was willing to declare herself the leader of her kingdom. But she just went ahead and used that scythe she found to do her misbegotten will, ensuring that there would be no more potential Slayers – because here and now, I tell you, there are no more such creatures to eventually give birth to them!”

There was a big dramatic pause. “And twenty years from this moment, after all the Chosen are dead – the balance shifts enough for the First to become corporeal, and inhabit the bodies of all those left on this plane. Mark me though, Illyria the god-king is no one’s puppet that way!”

The mage went up to the group, and scrutinized them carefully. “Hello again, Rupert Giles. It has been a long time, since we last met...” the masked creature briefly saluted the former Watcher, who had introduced him to his wife. The shaman then moved along, and examined another member of the gang...

The one-eyed 22-year-old human, known as Alexander Lavelle Harris.

He turned back to face Illyria. “You would choose this one as your champion? Your world saviour, even?”

The Old One just glared at the mage. “Do not presume to judge my actions, lest I yank out your tongue and make you swallow it! But if you must ask, I’ve known the human long enough to make my choice wisely. Of them all, he was the least unpleasant company I endured for two decades, after my previous comrades died or fled that night. And just like my lost Wesley, Xander Harris will do what must be done. I have no doubts about it...”

Then she started to shake, and groaned – clutching at her stomach in pain. The mage understood what was happening, “Your essence will soon destroy that human body you infected, I see...”

Illyria grunted, “It is the price to pay for Willow Rosenberg restoring my power, from that dimension into which Wesley drained it. But that is irrelevant now. What is your decision?”

The mage seemed to think about it for a moment, and then nodded. “You are willing to sacrifice everything that you are, for a noble purpose – and so, it shall be done.”

Without a word, the Old One created another portal with a gesture and the mage stepped through it. Then a glowing blue fracture appeared in Illyria’s cheek, shooting out blue-white light like a geyser.

But creating another interdimensional gateway, with her last remnants of strength Illyria jumped for it; and the portal closed just before the continental shelf could be destroyed from the ensuing explosion – as time suddenly resumed for the Scooby gang.

~~~~~~

Sunnydale, California. April, 1999

It was a balmy spring night, as Xander Harris walked along the streets of the Hellmouth.

At this point in his life, he was in his last year of high school – and both of Xander’s eyes were still intact. Right now though, he was muttering angrily to himself, whilst looking for the vampire with a soul called Angel and the brunette Slayer called Faith. “Love when you talk, Wesley. I love when you sing, Wesley. Can you say the words ‘jail bait’, Wesley? Limey bastard...”

The rant was due to his perceived ideas of the British Watcher being romantically interested in his ex-girlfriend, Cordelia Chase, who he still had strong feelings about. Well, Xander was only 18 years old at this point; and the fact was that Wes and Cordy did flirt a lot – and would continue to do so, until they realized there was absolutely zero romantic chemistry between them.

Suddenly, Xander saw Angel and Faith approach. “Hey guys! Man, where you been? You gotta find Buffy. She’s going to her place and stocking up on-”

But Angel just casually punched Xander in the jaw, without breaking stride. It was part of his undercover role tonight of being turned soulless by Faith, who had gone bad after killing a man; and deep down, the former Angelus enjoyed the act just a bit too much, given the history he and Harris shared.

Xander fell limply to the ground, and Faith didn’t even look at him. Angel simply said nonchalantly, “That guy just bugs me...”

So they quickly strode away, without another glance, and Xander lay forgotten on the sidewalk. A free meal for any Sunnydale monster that happened to walk past.

But then...something unexpected happened.

The mage shaman materialized, stepping out of a portal that appeared like a rippling oval in the air. Then the newcomer immediately started dancing and chanting, aiming at the unconscious human at his feet, as the portal vanished.

Xander soon woke up, much earlier than he otherwise would have. “Huh? What – why did-”

Then it hit him. < Oh, shit. Angelus is back, and Faith is with him? I just knew she was still bad news, after the way she tried to choke me to death! I gotta find Buffy- >

[ Greetings, Xander Harris. ]

Xander looked up, and scrambled to his feet – moving a few feet back away from the mage. “Who are-”

[ There is no need to for you to speak verbally, and I would prefer it if you did not. This conversation needs to remain private. ]

In an act that oddly resembled a silent meeting that would have taken place between him, Willow and Buffy in the future, Xander and the shaman started ‘talking’. [ Who the hell are you, mister? ]

[ My name is not your business. Not now – and for that matter, not ever, ] the shaman replied at once. [ First of all, know that I do not belong here, in this time. ]

[ What? ]

The mage clarified, [ I have come from the future, for my own purposes. In addition, my past self is currently here in this town, because the one you know as Mayor Richard Wilkins summoned him – in other words, me. My loyalty is to my old acquaintance Rupert Giles, however, and not the ruler of the Hellmouth. That is why I created the illusion of your vampire friend being stripped of his soul. ]

[ ILLUSION? ] Xander asked flabbergasted, and instantly ignoring the ‘friend’ part – as well as the time travel stuff, for the moment. [ But Angel just knocked me out cold here! ]

[ Has it not yet occurred to your mind that the vampire could just as easily have killed you, had the trick been reality? ]

The young Mr. Harris contemplated that, and although he didn’t like it – he had to admit that his companion had a point. [ So this is like, what, some sorta sting operation against Faith? Well, that’s just dandy. I feel so much better now, knowing that Deadboy broke my face in a good way. That it’s a good bruise... ]

The mage looked unmoved. [ It is in fact the least you deserve. For know also that you are partly responsible, for the upcoming downfall of your species... ]

The so-called Zeppo just stared at the shaman in shock. “Huh?” he choked out, wondering what the hell that meant.

The mystical being said nothing, not even mentally; he just took out a glass orb from beneath his robes, one that looked exactly like the instrument that the human-turned-demon named Stewart Burns would have possessed one day during 2002.

[ What is that? ] Xander demanded, backing up again.

[ Something containing the shadows of my past. And your future, ] the mage said somewhat cryptically.

As Xander looked confused the orb started to glow, with a strong purple light. Suddenly, the light shot out in a beam from the orb onto the boy’s forehead; then he seemed to morph into the light beam, and get sucked into the glass ball.

And what happened after that, was almost beyond Xander’s ability to comprehend.

Like flashes of memory, alien images invaded his mind; places he had never been, things he had never done, with people he knew either well, vaguely or not at all...

*FLASH*

A dark-haired man putting his hands to his head in an abandoned gas station and suddenly morphing into a blonde woman, who turned the movement into a stretch. She slowly brought her arms down and looked around, “Well, what do you know. Little Ben finally did something right!”

Some sort of captive soldier shouting, “The Beast!”

The woman glancing at the man, “Hey, it’s Gregor...” before she killed him. “Now it’s not!”

The vampire called Spike rushing at Glory with a yell, with himself right behind him. The Beast hitting William the Bloody, as he crashed backwards and they both fell against the wall.

*FLASH*

A wedding hall somewhere, with the ex-demon he’d recently met known as Anya Jenkins – who was dressed in a white wedding gown. There was a desperate expression on her face, “Look, you’re just shaken up, okay? You just calm down and we’ll start over, okay?”

His own voice saying, “We can’t start over. If this is a mistake, it’s forever, and...I don’t want to hurt you. Not that way. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” Then he turned and walked away.

*FLASH*

A satanic temple on a bluff of some sort, not far from the ocean. A black-haired, black-eyed girl – that was just barely recognizable as Willow Rosenberg. “I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary-veiny Willow, so if I’m going out, it’s here. If you want to kill the world...well, then start with me. I’ve earned that.”

The über-witch looked scornful. “You think I won’t?”

His voice sounded sad. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you.”

“Shut up!” She raked her hand through the air, and he felt the deep bloody gashes appear on his cheek.

*FLASH*

Hanging from the ceiling in a basement somewhere, strapped to some sort of wheel – and feeling like he was bleeding to death, from a stab wound in his belly. “Buffy! Buffy!”

The Slayer, a black man he didn’t know and Spike entering the room. The stranger saving him, while the only person Buffy had eyes for (after killing some sort of demon) was the bleached-blond vampire...

*FLASH*

A dark wine cellar of some sort. A dark-haired man wearing a priest suit, but with an expression of pure evil on his face. “You’re the one who sees everything, aren’t you? Well, let’s see what we can’t do about that...”

The preacher then plunging his thumb into his left eye, gouging it out while he screamed in agony.

*FLASH*

Looking out a window, in a dingy room somewhere. In the transparent reflection he had a black eyepatch over his left eye, and he looked so OLD; in his 40’s, maybe. Then turning around and saying, “I don’t think we have much time left...”

An ancient-looking Giles sitting in a chair, his hands and head shaking spastically with what might have been Alzheimer’s disease. A red-haired but equally old Willow doing some sort of magic ritual with an axe-like scythe, alongside a young woman with mostly blue hair and a red leather body suit – when the front door was kicked wide open.

“AT LAST I AM MADE FLESH!” something from outside howled in ecstasy.

A portal appearing, with the female smurf stepping through it and disappearing. A huge, hideous...thing then charged into the apartment, snapping Giles’ neck with one blow, blasting Willow through a wall, and then a huge clawed fist headed straight for his head...

*FLASH*

The purple light cleared away from Xander’s face, as he snapped out of his little trance. The light then retreated back into the orb within the mage’s hand, and the glass container stopped glowing.

Xander desperately started scrabbling to feel his face. “GAHHH! WHAT THE FU-”

[ Be silent! ] the shaman’s voice thundered inside his skull. Then it said more gently, [ I will explain, but you must not say anything out loud. The First Evil will hear you, and then all will surely be lost! ]

Xander’s thoughts were a wild, choking hurricane inside his head, as he lowered his hands to his sides. Finally the male teenager got himself under control, [ What...the First Evil? You mean, uh, that thing that Buffy kicked the ass of last Christmas? ]

[ Or so you all thought, ] the mage confirmed it. [ Now listen carefully... ]

The robed creature spoke telepathically, providing a little of the backstory regarding Xander’s glimpses into his future. Explaining how essentially – the First would one day take over the world, because he, Willow, Anya and someone named Tara Maclay would disrupt the mystical forces protecting the Slayer line. Out of trying to save a friend’s soul from Hell...

Xander faced the shaman, as even if he didn’t have all the details – he’d heard enough that he was freaked, and in complete denial. [ No way! This, this has gotta be some sort of trick...the lives of my friends and I can’t get so crappy! ]

His interlocutor just replied mentally, [ You are free to think that, if you wish. But I swear to you by the name of everything that I hold sacred, all you have seen will happen. And you cannot change what will come to pass, either... ]

The mage summarized it, [ You will be injured fighting the Beast. You will leave your bride at the altar. Your best friend will try to kill you, and destroy the world. Your hero will care more for her vampire lover’s welfare, than your mortal life. That minion of the First will tear out your left eye, during that battle. And in the end, the First Evil will win against you. ]

Xander still couldn’t deal with the concept of Buffy and Spike getting groiny together, but putting that aside Harris thought angrily, [ No way – that’s just pure bull, dude! And hey, I can tell Buffy and the others that- ]

The shaman instantly interrupted, [ Tell them what? That a future battle with the Beast, a hellgod named Glorificus, will eventually lead to you and yours bringing about the apocalypse? They will never believe you until it is too late, especially your friend the Slayer. Indeed, you will only give the First Evil the chance to accelerate its plans... ]

Xander looked desperate. The mage’s words had inadvertently reminded him of the...incident with Jack O’Toole and his zombies a while back, and how none of the others would even listen when he’d approached with news of the situation. [ Then what do you suggest, I just sit on my ass and let that nightmare happen? ]

The shaman sounded amused, even if his masked face didn’t reveal it. [ My employer said that you would react this way. But no, there is a plan to prevent all that you have foreseen. You must be our agent for it to happen, though – I cannot act openly in this world for the next 25 years, lest my past self becomes aware of my presence. And the one who recruited me for this task in the future...does not have physical form, at the moment. ]

The so-called White Knight was confused. [ Plan? What plan? And employer? Who the heck are you talking about? ]

The mage replied simply, [ The Old One called Illyria, whom you will eventually meet in the future. And before you ask – I believe she is ultimately doing this to save her beloved named Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, from a brutally painful death five years from now. I understand that you saw the blue-haired woman in question, during your last vision? ]

Xander sucked in a breath, stunned. [ Wes dies? And he actually has himself a girlfriend in the future – and it’s not Cordelia? ]

[ That part of it is not your concern, ] the shaman replied silently. [ And if you wish to prevent what you have witnessed coming in the years ahead, hear me now. The Beast must die, before Buffy Summers sacrifices herself two years from the present. It is the only sure way that the forces surrounding the Chosen line can remain inviolate, and invulnerable to the First’s intended machinations. ]

Xander weighed up what he had believed, against what the shaman had said. He could feel no insincerity coming from the mage, though, so Harris decided to go with his instincts on this one.

Just like when the young man had decided to lie to Buffy, about Willow’s intentions to re-ensoul Angelus that day... [ Okay, so...where is the blonde killer in question? ]

The thing in the desert robes shook its head. [ The cloaking magic of Glorificus is such that even if I told you, you would instantly forget a moment later – as the identity of the male body she is imprisoned within, remains immune to human knowledge. ]

[ Huh? ] As Xander had already forgotten about the guy called ‘Little Ben’ in the vision.

The yellow-eyed figure glared at his companion. [ As I said before, that part of it is not your concern. But the plan is such that when your current battle with the Mayor of this town is over, you are to leave the Hellmouth. Do what you wish, but wait for me to contact you in Los Angeles; and when I do so, in the Karaoke bar named ‘Caritas’, you must immediately return here to Sunnydale. ]

The high school senior was again confused. [ Why? ]

The mage instantly replied, [ The timing will be such that you journeying here, then, will result in saving the world from that hellgod’s continued presence- ]

Xander nodded, but with a funny feeling it wasn’t going to be that easy.

[ -however, it will inevitably cost you your life in the process. Are you strong enough to carry that burden? ]

Xander just stared at the blue-skinned creature, in silent shock.

~~~~~~

Los Angeles, California. August, 2000

“Alexito, my little cherub, please! Hurry up with those yak urine shots and pig’s blood spritzers for Table 9, will you?”

Xander simply replied, “Coming right up, boss...” But deep within the privacy of his mind the guy thought with a sigh, < What a life I’m living... >

The 19-year-old suddenly thought back to that night everyone had learned Faith had gone bad, and that mage had given him a preview of the shape of things to come. The shaman had quickly vanished after telling him to give up his life for the cause, and a freaked Xander honestly hadn’t known what to do.

Later, with everyone focusing on the brunette Chosen One going rogue, he had quietly done some research on his own. The little that Xander had learned about Glory and Illyria had been very worrying, and a sketch of the giant monstrosity in his last vision had been verified as the true face of the First Evil by Buffy – who had immediately asked, “Xander, where did you get this?!”

Harris had instantly spun a yarn that had satisfied the blonde Slayer, something about accidentally coming across it in a book while researching the Mayor. And so, eventually Xander had become convinced the shaman hadn’t been trying to pull a fast one or anything like that – that the visions were bona fide, and he had to do something about the situation.

But what? Tell the others what he’d seen? According to the mage friend of Giles, that would instantly allow the First to know what was going on, and Xander had no desire to test that theory – giving that demented priest a reason to come to town, and gouge his eyes out early...

Besides, the Slayerette had known from the start that his friends wouldn’t believe the story. At least, not without proof other than just his mere word...heck, if he hadn’t seen it for himself, Xander knew he wouldn’t have believed it either.

Because after all, Willow trying to destroy the world? Spike taking Angel’s place in the Scooby gang? At that point in time, it was ridiculous even to contemplate – especially if the gang heard it from someone, whose only job was just to get the donuts...

So Xander had bided his time, and tried to focus on the immediate emergency – the upcoming Ascension. Of course, there had been quite a few distractions along the way...

First of all, Buffy’s mind-reading ability. Xander had gotten terrified about her learning his secrets that day in the library, and so had concentrated on thoughts about sex; which wasn’t all that hard to do, given the number of beautiful women present and the hormonal teenager that he was. And from the comment the Chosen One had sent his way, the young man had later exhaled privately in relief that he hadn’t been found out.

Then had come the ordeal with the Box of Gavrock, and trading it for Willow’s life. Xander had watched and listened as the Mayor had dissected Buffy and Angel’s relationship in that classroom, and at that moment...he had known, the kid had just known that Angel would soon be hitting the road. Leaving the way open for William the Bloody to somehow claim Ms. Summers’ heart.

Senior Prom had been the next thing on the list. Xander had been unable to help staring at Anya Jenkins whenever he saw her, ever since that night – and so, the former demon had taken it as an expression of romantic interest in her. Thus in her own lovably blunt way, Anya had asked him to take her to the dance.

Xander had hesitated though, and then stupidly blurted out: “Anya, what would you say if I told you that in a few years we’d get engaged, and...there’s a possibility that I’d leave you at the altar, on our wedding day?”

The dark-haired woman had just looked at him in disgust and replied, “I’d say, forget I ever even spoke to you today. You know what? On second thoughts, I think I’d prefer a prom date who wasn’t such a complete MAN!” before she’d stomped off.

Xander sighed again, here and now. He had no idea where Anya was or what she was doing these days, but whatever else happened...at least now, she would never have to go through that nightmare he’d have caused in that reality. And for that, Harris gave endless thanks to whatever powers above were listening.

Returning to the past, Xander then remembered finding out how his ex-girlfriend Cordelia had become completely dirt-poor thanks to her father cheating on his taxes, and was working in a clothes store to try to obtain enough money for a Prom dress. He had immediately bought the dress for her; because after all that he’d done by cheating on her with Willow, the black-haired youth had figured it was the least he could do.

And then had come Graduation. Xander would never forget how the Mayor had come to the Scooby HQ in the library a couple of days before, and commented on how he was gonna kill them all and that he could smell the fear coming from everyone...

Then Richard Wilkins III had stared at Xander in surprise, before leaving. Because of all those present, he alone had known not to be afraid. That the Mayor had already lost, and somehow the Scoobies would come out victorious.

And indeed, it had so come to pass; the white hats had blown up the high school with the giant Mayor-snake in it, saving the world yet again.

But while the rest of the gang had then sighed in relief and tried to sleep for a week – apart from Angel, who had walked off into the fog immediately after the explosion – Xander had instantly gone back into research mode. Under the pretext of helping Giles sort out his book collection after its hasty relocation from the library, the high school graduate had looked for anything that might help him avoid his upcoming death, if he decided to go with the mage’s plan.

But there was nothing to be found. And so, a week later Xander had given up, packed his bags and driven his uncle’s car to Los Angeles.

Well, the former Halloween soldier had had a plan of course. Harris had known that if he’d told the group what his intentions really were, Buffy and Willow would have dragged his ass back to the Hellmouth almost at once; assuming that he ever even managed to leave town. And so, Xander had told the girls and Giles that he was going on a road trip around America, and that he’d be back in around three months or so after seeing all 50 states.

A truly idiotic excuse, to be sure, but one that had satisfied his friends – as because he’d played the fool so often in the past, they’d all thought the King of Cretins was finally reverting to type after the stress of the Ascension, and he’d taken advantage of that.

After getting a fake ID – a ridiculously easy feat, alongside getting a gun in 1999 LA – he’d tracked down the bar that the mage had told him about, and Xander had then applied for a job with the owner there called Lorne. The singing demon had been intrigued by the human’s determined persistence to hang around the place, and thus eventually had taken him on as a member of the staff.

So around October, Xander had phoned home from the City of Angels, saying that he’d gotten a great job there and had decided to stay in LA. The guy had cunningly timed it so that Buffy, Willow and her boyfriend Oz had just started college, and there was no chance they’d come to visit...

Harris had sighed after hanging up afterwards, not liking the lies coming out of his mouth – but unable to see any way to avoid them. Xander had then subsequently maintained constant contact at first, before slowly fading out of their lives so as not to raise any suspicions.

The guy was amazed at how easy it had been, too; and six months ago, the ties had been severed completely. No more emails, no more phone calls, no more nothing.

It was easier that way; as when the time came for him to go home and die, at least his adopted family wouldn’t blame themselves for not being there for him, or tell themselves that it should have been them in his place.

< Do the guys back home even remember me anymore? > Xander musingly asked himself, as he got on with fixing the drinks. < Well, either way, I still can’t help wondering what the Scooby gang’s up to right now- >

“Alex! The natives are getting restless!” one of the waiters hissed at him urgently.

“I’m done!” Xander snapped, and shoved the drinks tray into the servitor’s hands. And as he stood behind the bar to serve yet another demon customer, Illyria’s instrument again thought to himself, < What a life I’m living... >

~~~~~~

Wolfram & Hart building, Los Angeles, California. A few days later

The vampiric Harmony Kendall wasn’t in the best of moods, right at the moment.

The blonde former cheerleader had been a member of the undead fraternity, ever since that dark nightmare of a graduation ceremony back in '99. But quite frankly, she had sucked at being the Big Bad from day one; because being turned doesn’t necessarily jack up those old IQ points, and the demon version of Harmony was still basically the same useless airhead she’d been as a human...

But slowly, she was adapting. The soulless vampire was planning to put together a gang of minions in Sunnydale, and take out her so-called arch-nemesis; Buffy, the Slayer. And to that end, she’d had enough cunning to come here to LA and look into the possibility of obtaining something to remove that anti-violence chip implanted into the head of her former lover, Spike.

Not that she actually wanted the British vampire back as her boyfriend, of course; Harmony was just after a bargaining tool, if she ever decided to invite William the Bloody into her gang or something. But alas, the lawyers here weren’t interested in helping her, and the most she’d gotten was a job offer as a secretary...

At this point, the female vampire was walking down a corridor of Hell Incorporated, and soon would have simply gone home. But then fate intervened...in the shape of the mage Xander had met that night, over a year before.

The time traveller appeared out of nowhere as usual, his yellow eyes blazing as he stared at Harmony. Somewhat unnerved, the vampiress watched him approach her, and then at the last moment...the creature turned to one side, and walked through a closed door like a ghost.

A little freaked, Harm knocked on the door, “Hello?” Receiving no answer, she turned the doorknob and went inside...

...to find a fellow blonde woman, who’d once been the female vamp lord named Darla.

Harmony instantly asked her, “Hey – did you just see some guy simply just, y’know, pass right through this door like he was some kind of creepy chain-rattler...or something?”

Darla didn’t answer at first. Leaving aside the papers she’d found, the former prostitute studied the new arrival intensely, “You’re a vampire...” The signs were unmistakable, to the 400-year-old female.

The other woman shrugged. “Well, yeah! Have been for over a year...” Then she turned to leave, but the former Cordette halted when she heard Darla’s voice, “Wait, don’t go. I’d like to talk to you...”

Then the human woman looked around, “...but not here. Why don’t we meet for drinks somewhere? Get to know one another...”

The undead blonde shrugged again, a little surprised that the mortal was not quaking in fear – but not wanting this trip to be a complete waste of time, either. “Sure, why not...” And after agreeing on a time and place, Harmony left the building.

True to their word, the two blondes met at a bar that evening – a place that many Wolfram & Hart employees frequented to relax, after hours. And Darla skillfully pumped Harmony for everything she knew, the buxom ditz never even realizing what the older femme was up to.

“So, let me get this straight. You say you were involved last year with the William the Bloody? The vampire otherwise known as Spike?” Darla openly smirked, unable to believe it. < Like that lovesick idiot would ever have eyes for anyone other than Drusilla... >

Harmony nodded, missing the sarcasm and getting caught up in the memories. “Oh yeah, like totally! Oh, I tell you, my poor little blondie-bear...he’s been fixed like a puppy now, y’know, can’t even bite anyone any longer! That stupid chip in his head...God! You’d think that Spikey’s sire, that 'ho Dorkus...”

Darla interjected wryly, “You mean Drusilla?”

Harmony brushed that aside, “Whatever, you think she’s taken any interest in what’s happened to him? Like, I don’t think so! I mean no one else cared like I did, not even his grandsire...what was his name? Angel?”

Darla went very still. “Angelus.”

Harmony nodded, off into her own little world. “Yeah, that’s him! I even met that gorgeous hunk briefly while I was still human, you know...but just between us girls? I heard that he actually staked his own sire, just to save that social reject Buffy Summers! The loser...”

The human female suddenly made a decision, and started talking. Darla told her companion who she really was, and Harmony’s eyes quickly went wide. “Oh my God! This is just so totally awesome...and hey, anything I can do to help you get back at those two? Just say the word...”

Darla simply stared at the undead female American, very thoughtfully.

~~~~~~

The private office of Lindsey MacDonald, Wolfram & Hart building, Los Angeles. The next night

The young lawyer was alone in his office, when a blonde woman he knew well came inside. “Darla? Where the hell have you been? We’ve all been worried...”

But then something unexpected happened; said woman summoned by the ritual of the Raising to bring about Angel’s downfall, went into vampiric game face.

“...but obviously we shouldn’t have been,” Lindsey finished up, and backing away at once. < Damn! She’s a vampire again? But it’s way too soon for that, according to the plan Holland mentioned...I guess she must have decided to become as strong as possible, before facing Angel again. Well, I betcha someone’s not gonna be happy about this... >

The Darla vampire laughed, easily able to smell the human’s sudden fear. “Thank you for everything, Lindsey. Really, you’ve been most kind, bringing me back from the realms of oblivion and all that. Now, if it’s not too much trouble? There’s one final thing you can do for me...”

“What?” the one-handed man asked slowly.

“Die.”

And before MacDonald could even blink, the hungry blonde demon had sunk her fangs into his throat with blistering vampire speed, noisily gulping down his blood and sucking Lindsey completely dry – leaving nothing behind, but a lifeless husk.

~~~~~~

141 Embury Street, Los Angeles, California. A few hours later

At the Silverlake apartment that Cordelia Chase was currently calling home, it looked like someone was just moving in, or just moving out.

There were boxes and books strewn everywhere, as the place had been the temporary headquarters of the Angel Investigations detective agency for a few months now; ever since their former office had gotten blown up back in May, the same night Darla had been brought back into the world.

Suddenly, within her bedroom, while Cordelia was sorting through her stuff...she came across something interesting.

An old photograph, from the day after her high school graduation.

Cordy had almost forgotten she had it, that Rupert Giles had given a copy of the photo to each of his so-called children – as something to remember him by, in the future years ahead. And the 19-year-old girl smiled, as she looked upon the faces of Buffy, Willow, Oz, herself...and Xander Harris.

Cordelia then frowned, as buried memories of her ex-boyfriend quickly surfaced inside her mind.

Xander had been the first guy she had ever truly fallen in love with, and he had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable. She had caught her boyfriend making out with his friend Willow one night, and after their relationship was over...Cordy had made his life hell for that, and for ending up impaled on a rusty rebar during the evening in question.

The insults and put-downs had lasted for months, and after Wesley had arrived in town...Cordelia had taken delight in rubbing their feelings for one another into Xander’s face. His obvious jealousy and resentment had really made her millennium...

Until the night Faith had been exposed as one of the bad guys, and the group had learned that the Mayor was over 100 years old.

Cordelia hadn’t been sure what to make of Xander, after that. Because he had changed, literally overnight becoming...well, completely different.

His jealousy of Wesley had disappeared, no matter how much she’d tried to flaunt their relationship in front of him. And the fact that she’d discovered Pryce and herself sucked in the kissing department a lot earlier than she otherwise would have, didn’t prevent Queen C from stringing it out to the bitter end – just to get some sort of rise out of Xander...

His lousy quips and jokes had also vanished, though. Plus Xander had become distant in so many ways, barely even seeming to notice that Queen C existed any longer.

And Cordelia hadn’t liked that at all. Harris had no right to be ignoring her like that, never mind almost not talking to anyone anymore...

In fact, the only time they’d ever really talked after that night was when the damned Zeppo had learned that she was penniless, that day in the April Fool’s clothing store. The cheerleader had demanded to know just what was going on with him these days, but he’d said nothing – Xander had just paid for her prom dress, and then disappeared.

He hadn’t even shown up on the big night, to see how incredibly good the dress looked on her...

And when she’d later tracked the dork down and demanded to know if he really thought that doing this for her was going to get them back together, Cordelia had been stunned by the expression on the guy’s face. It was as if that idea had simply never even occurred to Xander before; and the teen had then bailed at once, muttering some feeble excuse or another.

It had burned Cordy badly to realize then that she was obviously a little concerned for him, as apparently a tiny bit of her still...cared about him. So later, after their extremely rough graduation night, the brunette girl had been determined to talk to her ex, and find out just what the hell his deal really was.

But Xander was never around for her to ask; and a few days later, he had skipped town, without even saying goodbye to her.

Dear God, but that had pissed off Ms. Chase so much at the time...

Returning to the present, Cordelia continued to frown – looking at Xander’s expression in the photo. < Where are you these days, you...you lousy Willow-kisser? And what are you up to? >

And then, the front doorbell rang. “Wesley, can you get it?” Cordy shouted out, as Angel wasn’t present in the apartment/office space at this particular instant.

“I’m afraid that I’m a bit...indisposed at the moment,” Wes called back, his British accent stiff and embarrassed.

“Oh, for the love of...” Cordelia grumbled, as she headed for the front door. “Men...”

But when the former May Queen opened the door, she shrieked – as a dead man fell on top of her.

Grimacing and scrabbling to get the male corpse off of her body, Cordy recognized the remains as that of Lindsey MacDonald, from Wolfram & Hart. And although she had no love for the Texan-born lawyer, Cordelia whined in dismay as she saw the vampire bite marks on his neck.

That was when the seer heard the mocking laughter, and looked up from the floor to see the vampiric blonde visage of Darla.

“Well, well, well. You must be Cordelia Chase! I’ve heard so much about you, it’s like we’re old friends...” the vampiress taunted the former schoolgirl. Then she frowned. “But come to think of it – I think I have met you before. The night of the Harvest, four years ago; you were that tasty little morsel I took away from that idiot Jesse, weren’t you?”

Unfortunately, Cordy didn’t know what she was talking about. “Who the hell are you?!”

Darla pouted on the threshold, wanting to tear Cordy’s throat out; but knowing the invitation barrier made that wish futile for the moment. “Oh, come on! Surely Angelus must have mentioned me by now?” Seeing a look of blank incomprehension, the centuries-old female vampire simply rolled her eyes and said, “Fine. Just tell him that Darla said to say, his beloved blonde Slayer is next!” Then quite literally, she vanished.

Cordelia was in shock, as Wesley finally came running into the room. Seeing the body, the former Watcher then quickly picked up the phone to call their vampire boss’s cell, “Angel, we have a situation...”

~~~~~~

Caritas Karaoke bar, Los Angeles, California. The same time

The moment he’d been waiting for, for nearly 16 months...finally arrived.

One moment, Xander had been chatting with and mixing cocktails for a group of Ano-movic demons, who were first-timers to the establishment...when he saw the mage staring at him, from the rear of the club.

Those Bedouin robes were unmistakable. Then their eyes locked, and as those reptilian yellow orbs drilled into his own chocolate-brown ones – Xander understood. The borrowed time he’d been living on, was now over.

It was strange, in some ways; the human mind can learn to cope with almost any stressful situation, and there had been the odd occasion over the last year when Xander had forgotten just why he was present here in LA.

Weird as, but he had gotten himself an honest job and as time had gone by – he’d also started to build a life that was not necessarily related to the Slayage. There had been no romantic relationships, of course – the former Sunnydalian had never been able to delude himself that far – but still, Xander had almost begun to hope something had happened, that would let him live free of the upcoming nightmare the mage had revealed to him.

But now the time had come, and quietly making peace with himself the guy took a long look around his workplace, as the shaman vanished. The human was saddened somewhat, by the thought that he would never see Caritas again...

Xander then put down the unfinished drinks, ignoring the irate voices of the customers. The young man quickly went to grab his coat, but before he could leave...his boss, Lorne, stopped him. “Hey there, ya cute little cuddle-monkey, just where the hell do you think you’re going? It’s the middle of Happy Hour here! Alex, you can’t just take off like this, I need you for the rest of the night. Look, if some demon’s pissed you off...”

Xander just shrugged at the lounge demon. “No, it’s not that. And sorry boss, but I’m afraid I’ve got a prior appointment. A date with destiny, you might say...”

The Host of Caritas didn’t get it. “Destiny? Alexander, what are you talkin’ about?”

Xander suddenly got a cold, wintry smile on his face, finally having to face up to the bleakness of his situation. “Boss, remember how I always said – right from the start – that there was no point in me singing for you, because I already knew my destiny?”

Lorne nodded. That had been odd, but he’d just put it down to a lame excuse of not wanting to know what was going to happen in the future. “Yeah, so?”

The human just kept that cynical and pessimistic smile plastered onto his features. “Well, today’s the day you get to know why...” Then Xander started to sing what had become one of his favorite tunes in Caritas over the last few nights, one that he felt described his life during high school to a T.

As defined by his encounter with Miss Natalie French in sophomore year, and that fiasco with his revenge-intended love spell...

“American woman, stay away from me

American woman, mama let me be...

Don’t come hanging 'round my door,

I don’t wanna see your face no more

I got more important things to do

Than spend my time going on with you...

Now woman, stay away

American woman, listen what I say...”

Lorne had jumped back, his red eyes huge and aghast before the first line had been fully delivered – as the anagogic demon read his employee for the first time. “Holy shades of Tarkna, sweetie! This is just – oh, what the hell have you DONE?!?” he shouted in shock and horror. < This kid has somehow changed EVERYONE’S destinies? I can’t believe this! >

Xander shrugged. “Actually, boss, now that it’s time – my real name’s Xander, Xander Harris. And to answer your question, hopefully prevented the upcoming apocalypse...” Then he started to leave again, but before heading for the rear exit, Xander turned around and shook Lorne’s stunned green hand. “Thanks for being such a good boss, Lorne, but I gotta go. See you on the other side...”

Krevlornswath of the Deathwok clan just watched him depart in silent amazement, his horns twitching as Xander went off to meet his destiny.

~~~~~~

Southern California. Ninety minutes later

Not far from the city limits of Sunnydale that night, Xander Harris was zipping along in his car, heading straight for the Hellmouth.

He had terribly ambivalent feelings about all this. Even though the waiting was over, the Old One’s pawn had no idea what he was supposed to do now, in order to save the world. < Should have demanded more details, damn it... >

Shrugging to himself, Xander just followed the plan and kept driving. He ended up on a bridge, crossing over a river; and there were two other cars on the structure at the same time. One of them containing Wes, Cordy and Angel, not far behind him...

The other vehicle, coming the other way, contained a medical doctor named Ben. A man who was on his way to LAX, to catch a flight to Europe for a medical conference...and who was destined to unleash the imprisoned Glory upon the monks of the Order of Dagon, after he got there.

But then, everything started happening very quickly.

Somehow, Xander’s car engine exploded, the hood getting blasted off the chassis as billowing smoke completely obscured the boy’s vision. Losing control of the car, the teenager inadvertently crashed into Ben’s vehicle, as the other man frantically tried to swerve to avoid him.

But it was too late; and spinning madly, both cars went over the side of the bridge, smashing through the barrier and into the dark water below.

The Plymouth stopped at the crash scene, as the Fang Gang looked on in horror. Angel stripped off his duster and snapped at Cordy, “Call 911, right now!” before he dived off the bridge in order to save the people from the accident.

Once underwater, the Champion was grateful for the fact that he didn’t have to breathe as he swam down to find the two vehicles. Searching desperately, he first found Ben; but Angel suspected it was too late for that guy, as the MD had an expression of horror on his drowned features.

The vampire grabbed him anyway, and then Angel saw the other car not far away. And when he saw just who it was that was struggling to get out of the vehicle... < XANDER HARRIS?!? >

The undead guy just quickly yanked the jammed door open with his supernatural strength, and dragged the former Scooby to the surface along with Ben – before heading for the banks of the river. Then Angel noticed it... < Oh, no – crap, both of them aren’t breathing now! I gotta hurry- >

With every ounce of vamp strength he possessed, Angel headed for Wesley and Cordy’s position. And before he’d even gotten out of the water, Buffy’s former boyfriend yelled at his two employees, “Start doing CPR on both of them! Because I can’t do it-”

Cordelia then got a good look at one of the victims, and her heart instantly leapt into her mouth. “Is that XANDER?!” she screamed, in a horrible panic.

“YES! Now hurry!” Angel shouted angrily.

The former bitch queen instantly went to the one-time class clown, and began to give him the kiss of life. Wesley instantly started to do the same for Ben...

But in the end, Xander revived – and Glory’s human prison didn’t.

His body spurting out the deadly water automatically, Harris felt like his lungs were on fire. He couldn’t breathe properly yet, his heartbeat was still dangerously erratic and for some reason...he thought he’d seen Angel’s astonished face, before he’d succumbed to oblivion in the river. Xander sat up and thought dazedly, < Man, if this is Heaven, it sure ain’t all it’s cracked up to be- >

But then a familiar female body embraced him. “Xander?! Are you all right?”

The guy looked stunned, as Cordelia let go to examine him. “Cordy?”

“Yes, it’s me!” Then for some insane reason, she slapped him. “You stupid dweeb! You almost got yourself killed just now! Why, I oughta-”

“Almost got myself-?” Xander still had no clue what was happening, and why his ex-girlfriend was so upset at the moment. But then he saw Wesley and Angel, and...another body lying on the ground...

Suddenly, it was like a fog was lifting inside his brain, as the power of Glory’s magic spell dissipated. Xander recognized the guy from the vision, “Little Ben...” he murmured vaguely.

“What?” asked Wesley and Angel together, identical confused looks on their faces. The undead guy then asked, “You knew him?”

Xander just looked at the ensouled vampire he’d always despised that had saved him from a watery death, many thoughts colliding haphazardly inside his head. “Angel...was I dead? Did, did Cordelia bring me back to life-?”

“Well, yeah-” the Champion started to say, as an ambulance siren started to be heard in the distance.

“Never mind that!” Cordy interrupted stridently, glaring at her childhood sparring partner. “What I want to know is, what have you been up to ever since Graduation? And how dare you just walk out of everyone’s lives that way last year?!”

“Cordy...” Xander then started to choke, spitting out the last vestiges of water. “Thank you for saving my life.” He then hugged the brunette beauty intensely. “You too, Angel...”

The ensouled vampire shrugged, “You’re welcome.” But for once in the twenty years that Cordelia Chase had walked the earth, she didn’t have a clue what to say in reply, and her two coworkers tried not to grin at the sight.

“So, I...I survived. Whoa, I still got my whole life ahead of me,” Xander muttered as he backed off from the hug. And deep down, the man was already worried about what that might mean for the future, as Queen C frowned suspiciously at the odd sound of his voice.

~~~~~~

Apartment B, 523 Oak Park Street, Sunnydale. A few hours later

Wesley and Angel arrived at Rupert Giles’ condo, somewhat nervous about being here – for different reasons.

Angel because the torture he had inflicted upon Giles back in 1998, even though it was technically Angelus who had done the deed, could never be forgotten.

And Wesley because his failures as a Watcher with Buffy and Faith, who by the way was in jail now for her crimes after turning herself in, could similarly never be forgotten either.

The two men stared at each other out of the corners of their eyes, knowing what the other was dreading. Both wished that Cordelia was here with them, to act as a sort of buffer zone against the Hellmouth natives; but she had decided to stay with Xander at the hospital, and make sure that he was all right.

Finally, Angel cracked first. “C’mon, Wes, we may as well get this over with...”

He knocked on the door, and a surprised Giles let them in. “What are you two doing here?” he asked, as the British man escorted the new arrivals to the lounge room.

Angel looked worried, forgetting about his issues for the moment. “We got a big problem, Giles...” And he proceeded to tell the Englishman what had happened, how Darla was back and had killed an evil lawyer they knew – plus, had threatened to kill Buffy a few hours ago.

“Good Lord...” Giles started polishing his glasses. “Darla? She, she’s back? But how? I mean Angel, you-you personally staked her back in 1997...”

“The ritual of the Raising,” Wesley supplied at once. “She’s almost certainly what Wolfram & Hart summoned, around three months ago...”

Another conversation started, as Giles heard the full story about that. But then Buffy and her boyfriend, the former commando and member of the Initiative named Riley Finn, came into the house...without knocking.

“Hey Giles, you’re never gonna believe what we just encountered-” Buffy then fell silent, as she saw who else was present. “Angel...”

Riley wasted no time – he pulled out his handgun, and aimed the weapon squarely between the vampire’s eyes. “Thought I told you never to come back here! You got a problem with your hearing?”

Angel just ignored the human though, as Giles said firmly, “Riley. Put that away – at once.”

Finn just stared at the Englishman in disbelief. “After what this vamp did, last time he was in town? I sure as hell don’t think so!”

Giles fought not to let Ripper come out to play. “These two men are both guests in my home, for the moment. Just like yourself and Buffy, I shouldn’t need to point out...” He got a cold expression on his face, “So kindly do as I say!”

Riley just stared oddly at the former member of the Council – before Buffy put a hand on his arm, lowering it slightly. She then told her boyfriend, “Riley. It’s okay. Please?”

The ex-soldier stared at her for a moment, before acceding to her wishes. The Slayer then asked, “What are you two doing here, anyhow?”

The visitors from down south again stared at each other, before Wesley said, “Mr. Giles can fill you in on the details, given the situation we’d best be heading out. There’s a great deal to do – and we should check in with Cordelia and Xander at Sunnydale General, while we’re at it-”

Buffy jumped up, as if she’d been electrocuted. “Xander’s back in town? And, and he’s been hurt?!”

Riley just looked around, completely confused. “Who’s Xander?”

~~~~~~

A crypt within one of Sunnydale’s cemeteries. A short time later

Angel and Wes burst into Spike’s crypt, the human carrying a crossbow and ready to use it – despite having heard the legendary William the Bloody was harmless to humans now. “Spike! Where are you?” Angel shouted in disgust.

The bleached-blond vamp came out of the lower level of his home, and smirked at the new arrivals. “Well now, if it isn’t the magnificent poof! And his new sidekick, Percy-”

Wesley instantly aimed the crossbow at him, in no mood for the British vamp’s wisecracks. “The name’s Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, I’ll have you know!”

“Yeah, whatever,” Spike never lost that damnable grin for a moment. He then turned back towards his grandsire, “So what are you doin’ back in town, Peaches? Finally come to settle accounts with me, 'ave you? Or you’re feelin’ a bit nostalgic, wanting a quick snog with your old bird – that it? Well, hate to mention this to ya mate, but these days the Slayer’s moved on to the living-”

Angel ground his teeth, completely pissed. “Spike. I’d love nothing more than to torture you unmercifully, given our last meeting with that sadist Marcus – but I’m on the clock here. Darla’s out gunning for Buffy, so here’s the deal – tell me what you know, and we’ll fix up our differences the next time I’m in Sunnydale!”

Spike looked briefly confused, “Darla? Thought you staked her years ago-” Then he got a sneering look on his face. “And get stuffed, Captain Forehead – I don’t know anything about what’s happening with her. Plus I wouldn’t tell ya anyway, even if I did!”

Wesley lowered his weapon. “Angel? I can tell that he’s not lying. There’s no point in us wasting any more time here...”

The duo quickly departed without looking back, as Spike grimaced in distaste. “And you can bloody well knock the next time you two come over, ya hear me?!”

~~~~~~

A few nights later

William the Bloody was lounging around in his crypt, bored almost out of his skull. He had plenty of blood, even if it was the bottled kind given how he couldn’t hunt anymore, and he had plenty of smokes as well; however, it wasn’t the same as ripping some git’s throat out in a dark alley, and Spike missed that. Just hanging around here or the Bronze simply didn’t cut it anymore...

But if he was going to be honest with himself, deep down the vamp was also a little bit intrigued at current events. As that recent visit by Angel and Wesley had captured his attention, somewhat.

< Darla’s back somehow, is she? > Captain Peroxide thought to himself, as he smoked a cigarette and idly watched an old episode of ‘Knight Rider’ on TV. < Well, that’s curious that is. And she wants to kill the Slayer? Should be interesting to see how that turns out, too... >

But then the male vampire heard a woman’s voice at the door, one that he’d hoped he’d never hear again. “Spike? Spikey? Are you in there?”

< Oh, bollocks, > Spike thought to himself in dismay. < Not that twit, Harmony...? >

“Hey, come on, is my little platinum baby doll in there?”

“Harm, you come in 'ere – and I swear I’ll have yer guts for garters!” Spike growled out, at that moment sounding like the Master vampire he’d once been. The proud and boastful slayer of two Slayers, before the U.S. government had defanged him.

“But what about me?” a new female voice rang out.

Spike instantly switched off the TV set, put the fag out and got up – recognizing that particular voice anywhere. “Well, well, well. So the rumors are true then, are they? Fine, guess a welcome back’s in order...Darla...”

His great-grandsire came in, as Harmony followed her childe close behind and looked around. Cordelia’s former best friend then said, “Aw, Spike – I just love what you’ve done with the place! It could do with a woman’s touch, though – and if you apologize to me for everything you’ve done, trying to stake me and all back then, I just might consider-”

Then the soulless blonde stopped, as she noticed both of the other undead glaring at her. “On second thoughts, I gotta go. G’bye!” The not-exactly-dimwitted demon then sprinted out the door.

And as proof that someone up there – or more likely, down there – liked her, she wisely decided to lay low and eventually get out of town, playing no further part in Illyria’s plan.

Darla just smirked at her vampiric descendant. “You gave up Drusilla for her...Willy?”

Spike went into game face and growled, “Don’t call me that again, luv – EVER! Or this little resurrection gig you got goin’ is gonna end real quick, with something wooden 'n pointy stickin’ out your chest...” Then the Bloody One calmed down, his human façade returning. “So, you’re back. Care to tell me 'ow you managed that?”

Darla shrugged, and made herself at home by drinking some of his imported otter’s blood. She also quickly gave the former Hostile 17 a basic rundown on recent events and then said, “So I decided to wait a couple of days, until the fuss died down a bit before coming to town. I take it Angelus has already been here?”

Spike smirked. “It’s Angel now, ducks. And yeah, the big arse has been around, askin’ about you...”

Darla then got up, and the British bloodsucker was suddenly reminded of why she’d been the matriarch of the family way back when. “You know, William, you’re quite right. He is Angel, not Angelus. I shouldn’t mix those two up, should I?”

Spike could read her mind, almost, and instantly groaned. “Oh – bloody hell, Darla! You wanna strip him of that blasted soul? Then listen up, 'cause I know what I’m talkin’ about these days! Angelus ain’t what he was back in the 19th century, not anymore. He’s completely cracked – and can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, but I actually prefer the pussywhipped version of Soul Boy to that...that bleedin’ crazy soulless bastard!”

Darla couldn’t believe her ears, and dismissing his words of warning said urgently, “But this is our chance to get the family back together again, you fool! Remember what it was like, before those damned gypsies came along? The three of us can go find Drusilla wherever she’s hiding, once Angelus is back to his true self – and don’t you want that?”

William went silent at that one. < Damn, she does sorta 'ave a point at that, I guess... >

But then reconsidering, he shook his head. “After what she did to me? Bloody Dru and 'er bloody dolls can all bloody well rot in Hell, for all I care!”

Spike subsequently said firmly, “Darla, look...you want Angelus back, then you’re gonna 'ave to go through the Slayer first – even if she’s with her Soldier Boy these days. So you want my advice? Forget the whole thing. Go to Europe or someplace for the next few years, hell – go shag that ponce the Immortal again, for a few laughs! But you take 'em both on alone, Angel and his blonde bitch are gonna dance all over your ashes. AGAIN!”

Darla snarled, “Unlike some people, William, I’m not a coward. So if you’re not going to help me, tell me this – who’s the real Master vampire in Sunnydale right now?”

Spike sighed, or at least gave the appearance of doing so. “Well, I was at this place last night, keeping an ear out for what Captain Hairgel’s doing – and believe it or not, I heard that Dracula’s arrived in town. So what the hell, go bother that cheapskate bastard instead o’ me...”

The former female favorite of the Master just grabbed Spike by his duster, as he’d begun to turn back to his TV set. “Show me where I can find him, first...”

~~~~~~

Dracula’s castle, Sunnydale, California. An hour later

Darla stood in Vlad the Impaler’s main chambers, after Spike had left. The chipped British vampire had become very annoyed when his old foe wouldn’t even pay attention to him, let alone pay back an old debt, and so had left swearing very loudly for anybody who cared to listen.

His great-grandsire and the residential owner both gave Spike no more thought, however. The former whore said softly, “Well...you’ve certainly come up in the world, haven’t you? Last time we met, the Slayer of that generation – what was her name? Angelique? – had almost staked you...”

“What do you want, Darla?” the male vampire asked in a low and gravelly voice, not liking the fact that the female undead knew about that – or that she was even here, period.

“What does she want? What does everyone want?” a crazy voice rang out.

Both vampires turned around, to see a human munching on a live spider in the corner. And then the enthralled guy cackled, “Blood, of course! Because blood is life...”

Darla rolled her eyes. “Really, Vlad. You just couldn’t resist using that old Renfield shtick again, could you?”

Dracula frowned. “This one is strange and off-putting, but should serve my purposes well enough...” Then he faced the blonde again. “Now, back to the matter at hand. Why should I help you? What’s in it for myself?”

The female vampire purred, “I’ve got a plan, dear boy. In return for helping me get Angelus back, I help you obtain the Slayer! And isn’t that what you want?”

“What does he want? The Slayer! Or is it blood? Maybe it’s both?” the human cried out. And Darla and Dracula both just glared impatiently at...Warren Meers.

~~~~~~

Sunnydale General Hospital. A few hours later

Xander Harris signed the forms to discharge himself from the hospital, after finishing up talking to the police. Who had told him that an investigation into the incident was still in progress and that he shouldn’t leave town yet, even though Xander knew he wasn’t a criminal suspect or anything – due to the statements of the paramedics, and the witnesses at the scene.

What was worrying to the LA bartender was that he’d received another visit from the mage, whilst alone in his hospital room...

[ Congratulations. You have done well – Glorificus is no more, ] the masked wizard had told him, after silently manifesting in the room.

Xander had been too far gone into the ecstasy from his morphine drip, to be startled by his arrival. [ Glad to be service. But shouldn’t I be dead right now? Or was this the plan all along? You never mentioned anything about Cordy bringing me back, ya know...so why didn’t you tell me about that part of it? ]

The mage had simply replied, [ You did not ask. ]

That had sent Xander into gales of hysterical laughter. [ I didn’t ask? I DIDN’T ASK!? You son of a bitca – you had me thinking that I was gonna be six feet under, when all this was over! ]

[ Obviously. And I take it you have not yet noticed, that I have said nothing about all this being over... ]

That had cut off the laughter at once. [ What do you mean? ] Harris had started getting a bad feeling about the direction of the conversation.

[ As things stand at the moment, all the future events that I revealed to you that night have been nullified; except that ordeal of your best friend attempting to destroy this planet. That will still come about, with or without your presence. ]

[ What?! ] Xander had exclaimed. [ Why!? ]

[ Out of grief and pain the witch will do what she will, upon the loss of her soul mate. Unless of course, another human dies before then. ]

By then Harris definitely hadn’t liked where this was going and so had demanded simply, [ Who is it this time? ]

The magician had just shaken his head though, [ All I will say is that you should stay close to the one who resurrected you; and the situation should soon take care of itself. ]

The human still hadn’t understood, but as the shaman had then disappeared Xander hadn’t gotten the opportunity to ask further questions. And now, as he walked out the front entrance, the latest scion of the Harris clan noticed Cordelia Chase waiting for him outside the hospital doors.

“Hey,” the former princess said warmly, giving him a hug – as after the last few days, she’d mostly gotten over her issues concerning ‘them’.

Indeed, the starlet had only ever briefly left his side, ever since she’d saved his life that night; they’d talked a lot, and Xander had told her a false but necessary tale about how he’d needed to go away and find himself, after high school was over. Or eventually, he’d have gone insane from everything that had happened.

A lie that had satisfied her curiosity, about why he’d left town like that when their senior year was over; as it was exactly how she’d ended up feeling herself. “So they finally let you out, huh?” Cordy asked.

“Yeah,” Xander shrugged. “Guess so.”

Ms. Chase tugged at his hand, leading him to her rental car. “Well, Buffy and Willow want to talk to you. So let’s go, pal!”

Xander just shuddered at the concept of what his two friends were going to do and say to him now, as the situation with Darla had kept them too busy to stay long during their brief hospital visits. But it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that he’d end up transformed into a toad or something now...

~~~~~~

Apartment B, 523 Oak Park Street, Sunnydale. A short while later

Xander needn’t have worried; both of his high school best friends were just thrilled to have him back, safe and sound.

Interrupting a council of war on what to do about Darla, the former odd couple of Sunnydale High arrived at Giles’ condo – and both Buffy and Willow instantly threw themselves at the young man, babbling incessantly.

“Xander, God, we missed you so much!”

“You coulda gotten killed in that car accident, and we’d never even have known!”

“What have you been up to in LA, anyway? Jeez, we haven’t talked in, like, forever!”

“Xander, were you planning to make this a surprise visit or something?”

“Xander, are you by any chance thinking of moving back here to Sunnydale?”

“Xander...”

And so on, and so forth.

The man in question didn’t say anything, he just kept quiet and decided to emulate Giles’ example in situations like this; wait for the commotion to end, before trying to speak. But Xander had already decided in the hospital, never to mention anything about how Ben had been Glory and Glory had been Ben; just to let his friends live in blissful ignorance, of what could have been.

Finally, he spoke. “Look, guys, I was coming back for my own reasons – but if we’re gonna be honest, I’ve really missed you all. Oh, heck, the fact is that I saw this guy a few nights ago in the Karaoke bar where I’m working at – and suddenly, I just knew it was time to come home...”

It was the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it wasn’t the whole truth by any means. But it was enough to convince Buffy and Willow to hug Xander all over again, and it was as if they never wanted to let their friend go. “Awww, Xander...” they chorused.

Cordelia just watched a little jealously and thought, < He’s never tried to hug me like that, and for crying out loud I just saved his life a few days ago! > The brunette quickly squelched those kind of thoughts though, uncomfortable with where they were leading her – and what exactly her feelings for Xander were, right now.

Then Xander noticed a blonde woman hanging back near Giles and Wesley, and slowly withdrew from the grasp of the Slayer and the witch. He then said to Willow, “Hey Wills, is that who I think it is?”

The redhead looked mortified that she had forgotten all about her girlfriend, blushing red. “Oh, God! I-I-I’m sorry, Xander, this is my girlfriend – Tara Maclay. Tara, this is Xander Harris – my oldest friend since forever!”

Xander smiled at the blonde Wiccan, who instantly smiled back – as she got nothing but good vibes off of her beloved’s bestest amigo. “H-hello, i-it’s good to meet you,” she stammered.

“Same here,” Xander shook her hand. “So, you’re Tara. It’s great to finally meet you at last! I heard nothing but good things about you from Willow, way back when...”

Then Xander turned to face the other person in the room that he didn’t know. “Hi, and you are-?”

“Riley Finn,” the Iowa-born native shook hands with Xander firmly. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Xander replied, although within his head an ominous warning bell was ringing. < Who is this guy? >

“Oh, Xander, this is Buffy’s boyfriend,” Willow said hurriedly, guessing what her childhood crush was wondering. “It’s cool, he knows about everything-”

“Not exactly,” Riley said with somewhat narrowed eyes, still staring at the X-man. “Because I never even heard your name, before a couple of days ago...”

Harris raised his eyebrows at that. < Oh, yeah – he’s ex-military, with that look there’s no doubt about it! Hmmm, but why do I get me the funny feeling that him and Buffy aren’t gonna last – and it’s not just because I saw her together with Spike in that vision, last year- >

Suddenly the front door opened, and Angel shoved the blond-haired vamp in question inside; who had a bloody lip and bruises on his face, as did his grandsire. < Insolent little... >

“Oy!” Spike snarled at the older vampire. “Watch the leather, it creases!”

“Knock it off with the attitude,” Angel told him roughly. “Or else one of us is gonna end up getting staked, and if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t like your odds at all...” He then turned to face the gang, ignoring Riley’s scowling features. “We just caught ourselves a break. Spike here, brains trust that he is, took Darla to hook up with Dracula-”

“Angel, you mean the Dracula?” Buffy asked in amazement. “And definitely not just some fan boy?”

“Yeah, Deadboy, are we talkin’ the original, one and only ‘I vaaant to suck your bloooood’ Drac-man?” Xander also asked, as the Irish-born vamp rolled his eyes.

“That’s right. So let’s saddle up; because our friend here with the radioactive hair is gonna take us where we need to go, pronto.”

“And what’s in it for him, exactly?” Xander asked cynically, gesturing at the bleached-hair undead.

Angel shrugged. “I don’t rip Spike’s head off anytime soon, plus a chance for him to get back the eleven pounds good old Vlad owes him...”

There were various raised eyebrows at this, as Drusilla’s childe stared at his would-have-been roommate. “Hey, you’re that nummy treat Angelus offered to me way back during Parent-Teacher Night! So just where 'ave you been lately, Droopy Boy? Hiding under yer bed from the big, bad boogedy things in the night?”

Xander glared at the evil undead and turned to Cordelia, “Any chance I can borrow your stake for a moment?”

The seer just grinned, “Ask me again, after we find this Darla bitch...”

~~~~~~

Dracula’s castle, Sunnydale, California. A short while later

The gang had arrived at the enemy stronghold, many of them wondering how they could have lived on the Hellmouth all these years and never even noticed the big honking castle that was suddenly present. They had wandered around for a while, before the Slayer got an idea...

And that was to divide her forces in the hunt. “This is crazy, all of us running around together like some kinda circus troupe! We can cover more ground faster, if we just split up already...”

Wesley made a face. “Is anyone besides me thinking this is exactly what happens during a horror movie, right before everyone starts dying?”

Buffy ignored him. “Okay, who wants to go with who?”

“I’m with Spike,” Angel growled at his grandchilde, not trusting him an inch.

“Oh, I’m feelin’ so much safer now. Look, I’m not even tremblin’ at the knees,” William smirked back.

“Shut up, Billy Idol,” Buffy snarked, as Spike looked offended at being compared to someone who’d stolen his look.

“I’m sticking with Angel,” Cordelia said emphatically, knowing he would protect her from any possible dangers if it came to that.

“Tara and I will be sticking together too,” Willow spoke up, as the two witches glanced at each other.

Xander looked at them, then at the Slayer – and then at Cordelia. “So Buffy, you and me together again? Just like in the good old days of yesteryear?”

The Chosen One nodded. “Fine. Okay, you, me, Cordy, Angel and Spike will form one group; Willow, Tara, Giles, Wesley and Riley will form the other-”

The former Agent Finn didn’t look happy with this at all. “Buffy, can I speak to you for a moment in private?”

Ms. Summers looked at him and nodded. “Excuse us...” she said to the group.

And once they were alone, Riley made his feelings about her plan very clear. “Buffy, this is crazy! You want to go off alone with two vampires, and those two strangers?”

“Xander and Cordelia aren’t strangers!” the daughter of Joyce Summers shot back, annoyed at her boyfriend. “Look, Riley, I get that you don’t want anything bad to happen to me. But apart from Spike of course, these people are all my friends! I know and trust them. Heck, I wouldn’t even be here today if it weren’t for Xander; did I ever tell you he gave me CPR when I was 16 years old, and brought me back to life after I drowned?”

Riley frowned, “No. Buffy...I get the feeling this guy’s very important to you, so why haven’t I heard anything about him until now?”

Buffy sighed, more than a little ashamed. “He and Cordelia left town after high school, and you know what they say...out of sight, out of mind, especially on the Hellmouth! I’m kinda glad he left, though; Xander was always just the normal one, ya know? If he’d stayed here, one of my two best friends in the world most likely would have gotten himself killed by now, and I just want him to be safe. So, I gotta keep an eye on Xander while he’s here in town. You can understand that, right?”

The young man nodded. “Sure, but I still don’t like it. I should come with you-”

“No, I need you to look after everyone in the other group. Will you do that for me?”

The Iowan native definitely hated the fact that there was almost nothing he could deny to his ladylove. “Fine...”

The duo then joined the others, and the two groups moved off in opposite directions. The gang consisting of the Watchers, the witches and the commando soon came to a locked door; Giles tried to open it, and when he did he stepped into the darkness – and promptly fell off the ledge to the floor, about eight feet below.

The others heard the loud ‘thump’. “Giles, are you okay?” Willow called out at once.

“Oh, bloody marvellous. Uhh...at least I didn’t get knocked out for a change...” The British man turned over onto his back with a groan, and then stammered, “Oh...oh, hello ladies...”

Three vampire women began crawling all over him, and Giles babbled, “You would...be the three sisters, yes?” As they began kissing his cheek and rubbing his chest, he added, “E-excellent, right. Uh, I’d heard that you were just myth...obviously erroneous...”

One of them ripped his shirt open, and began caressing the Englishman. “Aah! Ooh, that’s, uh, that, uh...tickles! Ooh, uh...oh, dear God...”

“Mr. Giles, what’s going on down there?” that was Wesley’s voice.

“What?” the distracted Ripper shouted back.

All of a sudden, Riley jumped down and held out his cross. The vamp women hissed and recoiled as Finn shouted, “We’ve got hostiles down here!”

The others joined in on the party, and Wesley brought out a sword as the two Wiccans began to incant a spell. Charging forward, the female vampires went for the jugular; but Riley staked one sister, Wes decapitated another, and a ball of sunshine fried the third into ashes.

Giles got up, ignoring the looks and snickers from the others as he hurriedly tucked in his shirt. “Yes, well, l-let’s get going, shall we? I-I-I think we’ve done enough here.”

“Sure...” Riley said sardonically. “The chick pit’s kinda lost its charm now, after all.” Then he frowned, “I hope Buffy’s all right...”

~~~~~~

Elsewhere within the castle. The same time

The other group arrived in a dining room with a table and a fireplace, one that was obviously being used. As Darla was present, sipping some blood from a wineglass...

“At last you’re here,” the female vampire said, looking bored. “Spike, this is an unexpected pleasure. Now, what makes you want to join this party?”

“Hell, Darla, I don’t! 'Cause I don’t give a rat’s arse whatever it is you’re up to,” William grimaced. “Just want to find the glory hound and collect my dosh, is all. Where is that poncy bugger Dracula, anyway?”

“Hello?” Cordelia pointed, noting absently that Xander was standing unusually close to her. “Vampire, soulless, unstaked. Can anyone else besides me do the math here?”

“Right. Just a second, Mr. Pointy and I will take care of this,” Buffy said, coming forward to face the creature sired both in 1609 and a few days ago.

Darla just smiled, though. “‘Take care of this’? Interesting choice of words, little girl. Because from what I’ve heard, you weren’t able to ‘take care’ of Angelus two years ago, until the world itself was at stake...”

Angel looked away at that barb, but Buffy never flinched. “You can have Angelus, lady. I loved Angel, and if we’re gonna be going down memory lane like this? Don’t forget how back in the day, he chose me over you...”

Darla vamped out and snarled as Buffy advanced, but suddenly going back into her human mask the undead woman shouted, “NOW!!”

From a stairwell above and to the right of them, Warren Meers threw down a potion stored in a glass vial; it exploded, and a white gas of some sort hit all those present below. At the same time chanting was heard, as Dracula began with his showy gypsy magic tricks...

For this was the plan he and Darla had agreed upon. A spell to induce perfect happiness within Angel, along with anyone else that might happen to be present at the time. And with all that Lindsey had told her, Darla believed the old tried-and-tested method from 1998 would work best; namely, sex with the person that had demonstrably made her offspring happy.

But as the old saying went, there are always unforeseen eventualities to every ingenious plan. Namely, that Darla hadn’t been expecting to get caught up in the spell herself...

But get caught up in it she did, as an undeniable feeling of lust overwhelmed the good guys. Locking eyes, Darla and Angel instantly flew into each other’s arms...

And as Cordelia and Xander also looked at one another, they too quickly began to get naked.

Buffy shook her head, as she glanced at Spike; two seconds later, she started tearing off William the Bloody’s duster. And as they all began to get down to business – above them, Dracula frowned as the panting and moaning reached his ears. < This is not what I had intended to happen... >

Warren joined his dark prince, chortling madly. “Brilliant! Master, you’re a genius! Just look at 'em all going at it!”

Suddenly infuriated with his enthralled servant and with no other outlet for his building rage over the situation, Dracula stabbed Warren with a vicious glare. “You disappoint me...”

And before the would-have-been robot maker could even blink, the vampire snapped his neck, twisting it around at an impossible angle before angrily striding away – having some time to kill, before the spell wore off.

Warren fell dead to the ground, his future sins vanishing into the void – as the world was made safe from Dark Willow ever emerging, and the man’s soul avoided the burning pits of Hell that it otherwise would have been destined for.

~~~~~~

Outside the dining room. Some time later

Giles, Wesley, Willow, Tara and Riley eventually found their nemesis, not far from the room where the sex-a-thon was going on. “Welcome to my humble home,” the Transylvanian vampire said mockingly in his unmistakable accent.

“Yes, thank you; and sorry to drop in unannounced, but we’re here to kill you. My apologies if that upsets your plans for the evening,” Wesley said confidently, as Willow and Giles looked at him in some astonishment; remembering the useless weasel Wes had once been, whilst in their company.

“I regret that I must decline your kindness, as I have an appointment elsewhere with the Slayer,” the Carpathian count replied in kind.

“You are gonna leave Buffy alone,” Riley stepped forward, death in his eyes.

“And who are you to give me commands?” Dracula smirked, before he turned into mist.

“What the-” Finn started to say in astonishment.

“Willow, make a shield!” Giles shouted, as a huge bat suddenly appeared and started to dive at them.

The redhead grabbed her lover’s hand instinctively and shouted “Protect!” as a yellow wall of light prevented the bat attack. The animal bounced off, turned into mist and then Dracula materialized, looking dazed.

Riley instantly darted forward to stake him, as Giles shouted, “No, wait-!”

But it was too late; the vampire just lazily leaned to the side, and like with Warren not long ago, he broke Riley’s neck with effortless ease.

“RILEY!” Willow shouted in horror as he keeled over.

The twang of a crossbow bolt rang out, as Wesley opened fire; a deadly accurate shot even as Head Boy at the Watcher academy, his wood hit Dracula right on target. And the world’s most famous vampire instantly exploded – to become the world’s most famous pile of dust.

Willow and Tara instantly ran forward to examine Riley, but it was obvious he was now of the dearly departed. The redhead started to cry over her dead friend, “No, no, no...” Then her eyes went black as Willow shouted, “Osiris, keeper of the darkness, hear me! Bring him-”

But Tara instantly clamped a hand over Willow’s mouth. “NO! Willow, you-you mustn’t try to violate the natural order of things like that! The cost could be your soul!”

Willow stared at her love, as her eyes transformed from black back to their natural jade-green colour. “I’m sorry, I...I didn’t think...”

“It’s okay,” the blonde lesbian just hugged Ms. Rosenberg, both of them in tears as the two Watchers watched them sadly.

Within the dining room though, at that moment – with the death of the undead villain, his spell prematurely ended. And a few seconds later it was an oh-my-God situation for the three couples, given the enchantment was over.

Buffy screamed, throwing herself off of Spike’s naked form as she suddenly realized what she was doing. Cordelia quickly followed her example, shoving Xander off of her, even though just for a moment – the boy was willing to swear that she’d hesitated over doing so. That left Angel and Darla...

But the blonde vampiress just smirked, as she got up off the floor and grabbed at her clothes. “Well, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind...”

“But it worked well enough, darlin’, ya got ta admit!” Angel said in his old Irish accent as he got up as well, then he morphed into game face and stared at Buffy.

“Angel?” Ms. Summers looked on in horror, naked and defenseless. < No...it can’t be... >

“Sorry, lover, but the name’s Angelus!” the vampire growled as he stepped forward and picked up his own clothes, holding them at waist level. The blonde Chosen One instinctively started looking for her stake, but it was nowhere to be seen.

Hearing that declaration though, Xander grabbed his stuff too and instantly came to stand by Buffy’s side; after a moment Cordelia joined them, but standing at the rear of the duo. < Oh my God, we’re gonna die...no! Not yet! There’s still so much I have to do in my life! > the messenger for the Powers thought in numb horror.

“Well – this is just peachy, idn’t it?” a nude yet totally unembarrassed Spike said in disgust to his grandsire. “I mean, you’re Angelus again? Bloody hell, mate, really – this is gettin’ old! Good, evil, good, evil...will ya just make up yer damn mind already?”

“Shut up, Willy. I’ll be dealing with you later,” Angelus growled angrily, without moving his eyes one iota from the blonde Chosen One.

“Hey, don’t call me-” But then Spike wisely closed his mouth, as everyone glared at him.

Darla laughed, as she came over to stand next to her mate. “So what do you say, my love? Let’s have ourselves a real party feast, shall we Angelus?”

The 247-year-old vampire looked at her, and then at the others. “Why not?” he smirked, as the humans and Spike backed off. Then he mused, “Oh yeah, now I remember...”

A stake slammed into Darla’s heart, one that had been hidden within the clothes Angel had been holding. And after she burst into ashes, the Champion said softly, “Because we were together for 150 years, but you never once made me happy...”

Spike was the first to react to the trick as Buffy, Xander and Cordy let out a collective sigh of relief that this was Angel – and that they weren’t going to end up dead or worse, anytime soon. “Oh, you right bastard! You really had me goin’ there for a moment...” the English undead growled, quite pissed.

Then William went to pick up his black leather duster, which he’d taken off a dead Slayer in 1977. But before he did that, he saw something that intrigued him – and picking up Buffy’s underwear, the vamp twirled it around in front of him and asked the college girl, “So – was it good for you too, luv?”

Spike was very amused at his own joke. And how Angel practically had steam coming out of his ears, not to mention the whelp and his woman looking so completely embarrassed. So much so, that he failed to notice the Buffy-shaped fist heading towards his face – that quickly sent him into painful unconsciousness for a while.

~~~~~~

The Bronze, Sunnydale, California. The next night

Xander and Spike were playing pool together in the dark-lit club during the early evening, as the male teen waited for Cordelia and Wesley to join him. Angel, who had fallen into a big depression after watching history repeat itself, had already gone home alone to brood about his actions – so Xander wasn’t expecting to see him again anytime soon.

In any case, the former Research Boy suspected it was all over now, given the mage’s words at the hospital – and the deaths of Riley, and whoever that other guy had been last night. So at the moment, the son of Anthony and Jessica Harris was just killing time and trying not to be annoyed at William the Bloody’s chosen topic of conversation...

“Tell me then – what was it like for you, mate? Myself, I always suspected – nope, I always knew the only thing better than killing a Slayer, would be fu-” William cut himself off as a glaring Xander pointed the long wooden pole at his chest, but his broad smile remained intact. “Well, ya know what I mean!”

“Yeah,” Xander grimaced. “Unfortunately. But with Cordy and me, I just...I can’t talk about it, not yet...” Then he glared at the vamp again. “Especially with you! Mind telling me why the hell Buffy hasn’t staked you yet?”

Spike’s smirk never faltered for a second. “She’s got a problem with killing someone who’s helpless to fight back, 'cording to the late Captain Cardboard...”

The human male winced; not liking to think about what Buffy had to be going through at the moment, with regard to that. But he knew that Willow, Tara, Giles and Joyce were there for the blonde Champion, to work through her grief; and the Slayer was a survivor, if she could get past losing Angel she’d eventually get past this too.

Focusing back on Spike’s reply to his question, Xander muttered, “Killing someone who’s helpless against her? Yeah, could be, but I’ve got my own theory.”

The 120-year-old vamp that still liked poetry slowly lined up to take his next shot. “And that is?”

“You’ve taken Angel’s place in her life.”

Spike’s pool cue ripped a hole in the green table covering, as he straightened up in shock. “Are you outta your bleeding mind, ya little wanker? I hate that blonde bint!” the demon exclaimed heatedly.

Xander didn’t look directly at the soulless vampire, he just walked around the pool table studying angles and positions. “Well...if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, Spike – it’s that there’s often a pretty fine line between love and hate, for some people. And you’ve gotten a taste of her now. Problem is once Buffy’s in your system like that, you can never completely get her out. Look at me – it’s been four years since I met the woman, and I’m still not over her one hundred percent...”

The young man then grinned nastily, as the vamp stared at him in sudden fear. “Yeah, good luck getting over the Buffster better than I did, Bleach Boy...”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!” the vampire shouted, unable to dismiss Xander’s mind games so easily.

But getting nothing save that evil grin Spike slammed down the wooden stick onto the table, and charged off in a great fury. Xander snorted, “Good riddance...”

“So you finally admit it, Buffy’s always been the one you want?” a female voice asked from behind him.

Xander whirled around, and his eyes went wide. “CORDY?”

Cordelia Chase was in tears, almost, as she turned to leave. But Xander grabbed her arm, “Wait! We need to talk-”

“Oh no, I think you’ve made your views on everything perfectly clear,” the brunette said in a choked voice, pulling away. < God, we’re back in Sunnydale five minutes and it’s like high school all over again! She’s all he cares about... >

“No I haven’t,” her ex said forcefully, as Xander dragged her upstairs to a booth for some privacy. Then he said, “Cordelia, let’s get one thing straight right now. What happened to us in Dracula’s castle – that did NOT reawaken any fluffy bunny feelings for Buffy, on my part. I swear to you that I am over her – that ship has like totally sailed!”

The woman looked confused. “But you just said to Spike-”

“I know what I just said to him! But he’s an evil vampire, chip or no chip. One who deserves getting taken down a peg or two before I leave town, and he makes Buffy’s life hell with all the sexual innuendoes. The ones that I just know he’s gonna throw her way, whenever they’re alone together...”

Cordelia had only focused on one part of his little speech, though. “You’re leaving town?”

Xander shrugged. “The case with the car accident was officially closed today, according to the Sunnydale PD. I’m free to go. And hell, it’s not like my parents are gonna miss me, even if the Scooby gang will...but they all have their own lives now, and I have mine.”

He hastened to explain at her curious look, “Thing is, I took a walk around town today, and I...well, quite honestly? It simply didn’t feel like home anymore. The beach, Weatherly Park, Sun Cinema, Hank’s liquor mart...it’s all just part of my past now, all of it apart from G-man and the girls. Guess I’ll simply have to keep in closer touch with my friends in the future, is all...”

“So, you want me and Wes to give you a lift back to LA?” There was an odd catch in Ms. Chase’s voice.

The Xandman frowned. “Yeah, it beats hopping a Greyhound at the bus depot – given how my car’s just a waterlogged memory now! And where the hell is Wesley, by the way?” < Because I need to keep an eye on him, at least during 2004... >

Cordelia shrugged. “He’ll be here soon, he was just going over a few things with Giles. Apparently, there’s some big brouhaha happening in Teabag Central, after they told someone there about Dracula getting staked...”

Xander nodded. “Right, well, anyway – what with the way I left, I kinda doubt that I still have my old job at Caritas anymore. So I’m probably gonna have to look for something else, somewhere else, to pay the rent. Eh, whatever...”

Cordy just stared at Lorne’s former hired help. “You really were a bartender at that place?”

The black-haired guy smirked, as he signaled a waitress. “It sure as hell beat working as a pizza delivery boy, like you said I would end up becoming a few years ago...”

They both cracked up at that one. After the soon-to-be carpenter ordered for both of them and the waitress left, a comfortable silence descended between the two young people. Finally the Bronze employee arrived back, gave them their orders and then left again.

And now, the silence was no longer a comfortable one, as thoughts of recent events invaded both their minds. “Do you want-” Xander started to say.

“Do you think-” Cordy started to say at the same time.

They both stopped, and the male teen gestured to the female one. “Ladies first. Is it about, uh, what we did last night?”

“Yeah. Okay, look, Xander...I just wanted to say...that it was the worst thing imaginable that can happen to a human being. Becoming a helpless sex toy like that, it’s like the most horrible violation a woman can suffer-”

Xander shrunk back in shame. “I’m so sorry, Cordy – but I couldn’t stop myself, I swear to you I couldn’t! I didn’t mean to force you-”

“HOLD IT! Let me finish, dummy. Because I never said that you had violated me like that, Harris; that was all Darla and Dracula’s doing, and with any luck they’re both roasting for it in Hell right now! Besides, it could have been worse-”

“WHAT?”

“Think about it, if you hadn’t been there – I’d have ended up getting horizontal with Buffy or a vampire corpse, either male or female! And not only is there not enough ‘ewww’ in this world to describe my feelings about that, Angel could have lost his soul doing it with someone else!”

Cordy paused for a moment. “But getting back on topic, as far as I’m concerned – you didn’t rape me or anything, we both wanted it...” She sighed, before sending him a sideways grin. “And if we’re gonna be honest...you were incredible. Both times we, uh, you know.”

Xander was flabbergasted, never having expected this. “Well, um, so were you. It was – it was the best sex I’ve ever had...”

Cordelia instantly smiled on the inside, even as the girl tried not to let the praise inflate her ego too much. Raising her eyebrows, she then quickly asked, “Really?”

The guy nodded. “Not that, uh, I have anything much to compare it to; Faith was my one and only, before last night. And that particular seven minutes was pretty much a case of ‘wham-bam-thank you Xan’...” Then Xander frowned. “Come to think of it though, there was no ‘thank you’ part, at that! Faith just said it was great and that she had to shower, before kicking me out of her hotel room in my underwear...”

Cordy grimaced at the excess information. “Well, at least your first time didn’t result in you waking up nine months pregnant the next day, with seven baby demons in your stomach!”

The child of two drunks sprayed the diet soda out of his mouth in all directions, and then he demanded details. Then after he’d heard what Wilson Christopher had done, Xander made a mental note to visit Caritas and find some demons he knew – that liked to snack on human body parts...

Cordelia sighed again, pushing her mocha crème cappuccino away. “Okay, there’s no point putting this off any longer. Xander...where does last night leave us now?”

Harris shrugged. “I don’t know, Cordy. Where do you want it to leave us?”

“Oh, how the hell should I know?” the woman suddenly demanded snappishly. “I mean, you think I asked for any of this? You think I-” She stopped, as Cordy saw the big doofus shake his head. “What?”

“Here we go,” Xander said in annoyance. “Ever since we were little kids...it’s always been all about you, you, you! What about me? You think I was looking to get involved with someone like that, at this point in my life?”

That remark only made Cordelia angrier. “Well, well, who cares about that, you big moron?”

Xander bristled at that insult. “You’re calling me a moron? Well, let me just say – pot, kettle, black! Understand, Your Highness?”

Apparently, only too well. “Of all the nerve, you-you dorkhead-!”

It was obvious that the fight had now gotten into full swing, as they both started shouting. “Oh, so I’m a dorkhead now? This from a woman who thought I got her a prom dress, just to get into her panties!?”

“Well, what the hell was I supposed to think then? Don’t forget, you cheated on me!”

“Yeah, but for the fifty millionth time I’m sorry about all that! And hey, just for the record, if I could do it all over again? I would never throw away what we had, for illicit smoochies with a lesbian!”

“As if! You’d just think it was all the more exciting, doing it with a lesbo!”

“Are you nuts!? If I’d known then what I know now, I would’ve never even considered kissing Willow that night!”

“Right, and I’m supposed to believe that? Coming from a guy who used to have eyes for anything wearing a skirt!? Because I saw how you were looking at Faith, that first night we all met her!”

“Oh, that’s rich! Because she almost killed me, remember? And hey, do I need to remind you of what happened with a certain older British guy way back when!?”

Cordelia screamed, “Like you weren’t jealous of Wesley, right from the start?!”

Having come full circle, Xander growled as he remembered his encounter with the mage, “Okay, that’s it. You want the truth? Fine, I was jealous. Until that night when I discovered that there are definitely more important things in this world! Such as the lives of the people I care about – which for some insane reason, still includes YOU!!”

The two teenagers paid no attention to the other Bronze patrons, who were listening to their spat with great interest. Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase just sat there at the table, glaring daggers at one another...

Then the small audience cheered and whistled, as the duo’s lips suddenly came together in a frenzy of reawakened lust and passion.

And by Extraordinary Coincidence the short guy known as Jonathan Levinson was there, amongst the crowd. His jaw almost literally on the floor, the nerd watched these two people he’d known in high school suddenly needing to get a room... < Wow! I wonder what brought all this on? >

The mage shaman, who had also been watching unnoticed from far enough away in the dance club, just nodded to himself as he prepared to leave. With his nonhuman senses, the creature could feel the blast wave of fury coming from one of the Powers That Be in a higher realm, the ire arising from her plans being totally ruined...

As the child Cordelia might one day give birth to, now could not and would not ever be her.

It was enough to make him smile, behind the mask. The shaman knew that with these new alterations now in the destiny of Illyria’s chosen champion, the last loose ends in the Old One’s plan had finally been taken care of; and so, the mage disappeared backwards, into places unknown.

Until the time came in the future, when his services would be needed once more.

THE END