HERE WITH ME

By Kaitlyn

Summary: Song fic-What happened after Tara left?

*I highly recommend watching Tabula Rasa from season 6 before reading this.
Some references to "Once More, With Feeling" and "Tabula Rasa"*

-----

 

-It's been a long, long time
since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that your gone things
will never be the same again-

Willow sat on the floor in the upstairs hallway corner. Dried tears stained her face and her eyes were red. She felt as if her entire body was frozen in place. She felt as if her life was over. Tara had left because of the magick. Willow had gone over the edge. Her heart ached for Tara. She wanted to stop but she just couldn't. It was a force, sucking her into a vortex where she could be more powerful than ever before.

-There's not a minute that goes by
every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
you used to know
I wish I said the words
I never showed-

An hour after Tara left, Willow's legs began working again. She slowly was able to stand and walk to her room. She missed her deeply, wishing for everything to go back so she could fix it. Willow wanted to change. It was just too hard. She wanted to be able to apologize.

-I know you had to go away
I died just a little,
and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would
cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me, here with me-

She knew Tara had to leave. She knew Tara couldn't live with Willow doing memory spells on her. After all Tara had been through with Glory, she could not deal with her soul mate doing things like that. Willow felt like a piece of her had died when Tara shut the door for the last time. Willow sat on her bed and curled up into a fetal position, hugging Tara's pillow tight.

-You know that silence is loud
when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly
just to be a part of something
strong and true but I was scared
and left it all behind-

No noise came from inside the house. All Willow could hear was her own steady breathing and the rhythmic beating of her broken heart. 'It's your own fault,' she told herself over and over again. She wanted Tara to be there with her, to stop all the hurting going on inside of her. She thought of the song Tara had sung to her just three days earlier. She hummed it back to herself, reminding herself that Tara did love her.

Willow went over to the radio and flipped to her favorite station. She heard something new playing on it and decided to listen to it. She needed something to take her mind off of Tara. If she was going to get better she needed to move on a little. A song she had never heard before was playing.

-I know you had to go away
I died just a little,
and I feel it now
you're the one I need
I believe that I would
cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me, here with me-

She threw the radio across the room. As the broken pieces of plastic and wire fell to the floor, Willow's knees gave out and she collapsed. She broke into tears and began sobbing into her hands. Her entire body shuddered with every breath. It was too much for her. The worst part of it all was knowing it was all her fault.

-And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you
to come back to me
Please?-

"I'm sorry," she said to no one. "I never meant for this to happen. I didn't want this. Please, Tara. Please come back to me!" she screamed. "Please," she said, almost in a whisper. "I can't live without you. I need you. Come back." She laid down on the floor, curled up so tight to herself that she looked like a small child.

-I never will forget
that look upon your face
How you turned away and left
without a trace But I understand
that you did what you had to do
And I thank you-

Willow closed her eyes. She knew that Tara had done the right thing. She knew it was the only thing to do. She finally understood it was the only way for her to learn to control herself. It was the only way to quit magick effectively. Willow could see what she needed to do and she was willing to try. For the first time that night, she could finally see the whole picture and she thanked Tara for showing her what to do.

-I know you had to go away
I died just a little,
and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would
cry just a little
Just to have you back now-

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