ATTACK OF THE BUNNIES!
Chapter One
Anya is devastated. Every thing that could go wrong at her wedding did go wrong. Xander convinced Anya that this would be the happiest day of her long life and she has been around for a while. But when it came time to commit Xander split. After all the planning and money spent on the grand event the love of her life was gone.
The guest started fighting again. Xander’s Dad (drunk as a Sorakin belching demon) started yelling at his would be in-laws about who was going to pay for the damages to the church from the previous fights and it all went to hell form there. No one even noticed Anya leaving the church.
It was getting dark as Anya wandered aimlessly through the graveyard. An endless flow of tears had already washed away her makeup. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks! It was the one thing that struck terror in to the hart of a demon. A fluffy tailed, white haired, pink nosed, Bunny Rabbit! Standing in the middle of the path, twitching its nose, and looking right at Anya.
Slowly it hopped toward Anya. Inch by penetrating inch. This was it. Nothing could make her day worse than a show down with the wasculy wabit. Anya could take no more! In a fit of rage, she ran screaming at the bunny. She kicked the bunny like she was kicking the game winning field goal at the Super Bowl.
The white rabbit went flying though the air. It landed perfectly on its hinged legs on top of a tombstone. Hissing at Anya, she could tell that this was no ordinary bunny. Instead on flat teeth for grassing it had long fangs. The bunny’s eyes glowed red and it’s brow scrunched up into the unmistakable look of a vampire!
Chapter 2
Attack of the BunniesThe bunny took three giant hops and it was on top of Anya. She only had time to take one step back so the vicious rabbit landed on thick wedding gown instead of on her neck. The bunny latched on to the gown with its sharp claws. Anya started spinning in circles while shaking he gown with one hand and slapping the bunny’s head with the other. "Go a way! Go a way! Go a way!" Anya screamed as she began to get dizzy.
Slam! Anya had spun into the side of a mausoleum. The bunny and her self fell in opposite directions. They were both dazed and lightheaded from the ordeal. Neither Anya nor the bunny could stand. It would be a race for recovery. The first one to compose them selves would win this battle. The bunny rolled over shook its head. As the bunny prepared to jump a wooden stake rammed through the rabbit’s back. Fur and flesh disintegrated leaving a little vampire bunny skeleton that soon crumbled into dust.
"Wow. You think that Buffy would recycle these things instead of littering. That’s what Xander would have said any way….Xander!" Anya said as she went back to crying her eyes out.
As she wiped away the tears, Anya saw something moving. Four pairs of red eyes glowed in the darkness. She thought to her self "Trollakian spider demon. Nothing to worry about." That was until one of the pairs of eyes started hopping up and down. More eyes appeared and the first of many vampire bunnies hopped out of the darkness.
Anya did not wait for more evil bunnies to attack. She got up and ran her ass off. Anya looked over her shoulder to see a dozen or so rabbits jumping over and around gravestones. That was wen she bumped into a big black guy and fell on her ass. As the man helper up Anya said "We have to run! Where being invaded by bunnies!"
The man replied "There are worse things out tonight than bunnies."
"Like what?" Anya said in a disbelieving yet annoyed tone of voice.
"Like me!" As the man’s for head furrowed and his teeth grew, a bunny latched on to his neck than a second bunny bit in to his leg. Anya started running again. Soon the vampire man was covered in vampire bunnies. The rabbits viciously chewed off his living dead flesh. When the bunnies had their fill of the man, there was not much left. Unfortunately the bunnies did not piers his hart or sever his spinal cord. Even though vampires heal fast, there was not enough of him left to be able to move before dawn.
Anya finally exited the graveyard and ran across the street and through a playground. As she sat down on a bench to catch he breath, she saw a little boy in the sandbox. The boy could not be more than three and a half and was all-alone. Even Anya knew that some thing wasn’t rite. Just then an evil bunny hoped into the sandbox. The little boy became happy and said "Here kiddy kiddy".
Chapter 3
The small boy reached his hand out to pet the evil bunny on the head despite the fact that it was foaming at the mouth. Suddenly the rabbit turned into a puff of smoke and all that was left was a wooden stake. The same stake that killed the first bunny of the night. The boy sat still for a second. Anya started chanting, "Please don’t cry, please don’t cry, please don’t cry!¨.
The boy sneezed, started clapping his hands and said, "Do it again! Do it again!"
Anya replied "Unfortunately I probably will." She walked over to the little boy, picked up the stake, and asked, "Where are your parents little guy?"
The kid said happily "There on vacation" as he went back to building his sandcastle. Adding the dusted bunnies remains into the fortress."And who is suppose to be taking care of you?" Anya asked.
The little boy replied, "I stay with Nanna. She take a nap now." The kid pointed to a park bench on the far side of the playground. There sat one of the few people in Sunny Dale too die of natural causes. An old lady whose time was up, and her Depends full of poop.
Anya looked back towards the graveyard to see vampier bunnies hopping there way to the park. "Hay kid would you like to go to the magic box?" Anya said nervously. "You like magic don't you?"
The boy replied, "You have a magic box! Nanna! We go see Magi..."Anya scooped up the boy and started running before the kid could finish his sentence. "Don't wake Nanna. She needs her sleep."
"Kiddies!" The boy yelled as they exited the park. The evil bunnies were gaining on them. Some of rabbits stopped to take a bite out of Nanna. Luckily the boy and Anya turned a corner before that horrid event.
"What's your name?" asked Anya
"Billy."
"I'm Anya and troughs aren’t kiddies, they are evil bunnies."
"Kiddies!"
"Bunnies."
"Kiddies!"
"Bunnies!" This went on all the way to the Magic Box.Anya put Billy down so she could unlock the door. As she fumbled with her keys, two bunnies bit in to Billy’s sweatshirt just missing his skin. The evil rabbits started hopping away with Billy. "Kiddies! Kiddies! Kiddies!" Billy yelled as he was being dragged down in to an open sewer.
Chapter 4
Attack of the BunniesAnya ran to the open manhole looked in but she could not see Billy or the Vampire Rabbits. She heard Billy scream in the distance "I smell pee pee!¨ Anya pulled her head out of the manhole and saw a horde of bunnies hopping her way. She sprinted back to the Magic Box, dusted a bunny that was in her way, went inside and locked the door. She had no intentions of abandoning Billy like Xander abandoned her, but Anya had been a human in Sunnydale long enough to know that she had to prepare first.
The first thing Anya did was getting out of her hi-heals and put on some sneakers. She ran into the basement, taped on five bricks in the wall that opened a secret room, and went in. The room was filled with all sorts of ancient mystical weaponry. At the end of the room in front of a cabinet sat the Holey Grail. Anya rotated the Holey Grail to the left, then to the right, and finally to the left again.
The cabinet opened into a weapons room that only Anya and Giles knew about. There was an inscription on the wall that said, "Use only in the event of eternal night." Underneath it sat a M90 machine gun modified to fire small wooden stakes.
Anya kicked open the back door of the Magic box screaming like a banshee. The evil bunnies all turned to look at a mad woman in a tattered wedding dress, warring a backpack, bandoleers of stakes wrapped all around her, and a BFG! Anya started firing on the little vampire rabbits. Bunnies crumbled into dust as they hoped through the air. A stake went trough one of the rabbits, splintered against a wall, and showered the bunnies with wood. With in seconds the ally was covered in dust and not a single bunny to be seen.
Anya headed down the manhole. She headed in the direction of Billy’s last cry. It did smell like pee pee down here. She eventually came across a large tunnel guarded by two three-foot Vampire bunnies. The rabbits roared like lions at Anya. Their glowing red eyes lit up the sewer like the fires of hell it self.
Chapter 5Attack of the Bunnies
One of the big bunnies jumps at Anya ready to bite her head off. Anya fired her gun full auto. The stakes ripped apart the flesh of the evil rabbit but did not go deep enough to get to it’s black hart. The bunny fell to the floor making a big splash in the former water of the toilets of Sunnydale. Anya jumped in the air and landed on the stakes that were imbedded in the big bunny’s chest. That was enough to get the stakes through the hart. The bunnies dust mixed with the sewer water and turned into a pile of mud that resembled a chocolate rabbit half melted in the sun.
The second vampire bunny roared at Anya and dove into the tunnel. This was not a tunnel of the sewer but a burro dug out of the side of the wall that led to the caves below Sunnydale. Anya carefully went through the tunnel. During the time when Buffy was dead, Anya and the rest of the Scoobies did some serious combat training. She silently crept through the burro like a Navy SEAL. Tears started dripping from her eyes as she remembered Xander explaining the difference between a Navy SEAL and the seals at the aquarium.
Anya regained her composer as she came across a large cave filled with small vampire rabbits. Then she nearly trough up when she realized what they were doing. It was a massive bunny orgy. All the little rabbits having sick bunny sex, but that was not the worst part of it. Instead of giving birth to new bunnies, the rabbits were splitting like ameba.
Anya quietly opened her backpack and pulled out a metal box. She through the box into the center of the cave and ran. When the box landed the bunnies scattered and cleared a cercal around it. One brave Rabbit slowly hopped up to the box. Sniffing it with it’s twitching nose while the other rabbits started to close in on the device. After about fifteen seconds had passed, the box split apart and launched a ball in the air about six feet. The wooden ball hovered in the air for a second and then exploded like a claymore mine. Small wood shards hit every dumb bunny in the room. The dust from the mass slaughter rushed through all the caves with hurricane force knocking Anya to the ground.The dust of the dead bunnies was like a thick fog the only thing that Anya could see was the glowing red eyes of the large bunny that was guarding the sewer entrance to the cave. Like high beams on a pogo stick the red eyes hoped down the hallway towards Anya. She could not find her gun in the dense fog. Anya pulled a holy water balloon out of her backpack and through it into the mouth of the giant bunny just as it was on top of her. The stupid rabbit bit down on the balloon and it’s head exploded.
Anya got up and used one of the dead bunnies ears as a torch to light her way through the dusty cave. With a holy water balloon in one hand and the ear in the other hand, she continued down the tunnel. She found Billy at the end of the large tunnel. There was one small bunny grading him that she quickly annihilated with the holy water balloon. For the first time since Xander left her at the altar, she smiled. That was until Billy turned around.
Billy’s throat had been bitten and there was blood all over his face. "The bad bunny bit me so I bit him back!" Billy said with a smile as his eyes turned red. His sneakers exploded as his feet grew. Billy’s ears grew high above his head and his front two teeth turned into fangs. He quickly hoped past Anya into the darkness.
Anya was in shock at the sight of little boy Billy turned into a vampire bunny. She dropped the backpack and bandoleers on the ground and sat on a rock. Anya hoped that some thing would come along and kill her. Out of the darkness a hand reached out to her with a tissue. Her former demon master asked, "Are you OK?"
Anya replied, "I’m tiered of crying. I’m just so tiered."
The demon tried to console her like a father would. "Poor Anyanka, I’m so sorry. But you let him domesticate you…
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